Loving Two Men



I never knew it was possible. I have always thought that its impossible to commit yourself to more than one man and really mean it. Its got to be one or the other. It was always black and white. I would have argued you til you gave up.

Until now. I guess my opinion on a lot of things have changed.

I love two men and they know about each other.

I am very much committed to two men. One is living and one is not. I love them with my whole heart. I don't compare them. They are different. As is my love for them.

I am committed to raising my children knowing the love their father and I shared. I gave my very best to him and they are the result. They will never hear me say a negative word about their dad.

I don't idealize him. We did not live a fairy tale. I have not put him on a pedestal but he is the man I promised my dedication to until death. I kept my promise until the end. We had a marriage like many others. We had ups and downs. Joy and sorrow. I loved him as he was. I followed him where ever the Marine Corps took us. He is gone now but he will always be present in our family.

I am in love with another as well. One of the reasons its so easy to love him is because hes accepted Michael's place in our family. He loved him also. He does not get jealous when we speak of him and even joins in on the conversations. Hes interested in hearing our stories of Michael and encourages us to share.

The ability for him to do this is so admirable. I really appreciate that he doesn't feel threatened by sharing us with Mike. He is here and hes real but Mike was too. He came into our mix with only one request. That was to let him love us. He asked us "Can you let me love you?"

He told my kids he loved them and never wanted to take their dad's place. He was his brother in the Marine Corps and he would just like to love them. They don't have to do anything. Just allow him to love them.

How could you not melt? There are no expectations. He knows we are healing. He knows our loss and he still just wants to be a part of our lives.

I am sad and feel lucky at the same time. I am grieving and falling in love every day. Its a tragically wonderful. Hes not afraid. 

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