Yes, this is my life

Any time I ever dream about Mike anymore it's that he was deployed and died in action but that he didn't actually die. Instead he began a life where he was, got engaged and then came home. Only to tell me he was engaged and no longer loved me and painfully points out all the ways I failed him. How I was a bad wife. There is a lot of screaming and crying and throwing things in these dreams. I wake up so exhausted and sad. In a way the rejection and abandonment I feel is no different than being left for another woman except he can't tell me all the ways I failed our marriage. My mind does all that for me. Some days I think this really sucks. I know consciously it's not my fault. In my dreams my heart begs to differ. It make me feel emotional and weepy the whole next day. I'm sensitive and reactionary. I don't like the fragile feeling. I'm far from being fragile. Last night in the dream he told me the relationship he had was done. He broke it off. I didn&#