Yes, this is my life

After being a parent for almost 12 years I have learned a few things. 1)Never buy anything nice. 2) Any body fluid or excrement can double as paint. 3) Wallpaper is like a scab to a child. I have three kids and a fondness for border wallpaper. These things do not mesh. I have tried to use border paper in various rooms, in various homes and at various stages in my children's lives. It always starts out fine. For the most part anyway. But God forbid it begin to peel at any corner within reach. They cannot resist the urge to pick at it like a scab. Scabs are small. And if you pick at them sometimes they will bleed. Blood will stop a kid from picking. Wallpaper doesn't bleed. Its defenseless. Just sits there quite on the wall looking all pretty. What did the wall paper ever do to you, kid? Nothing. Thats right. Do you hear that? Its the sound of your mothers heart breaking. If you want to save some money and heartache just skip wall paper and buy your kids mittens. Secure it with

I went to the Happiness outside the back gate last night. It took TWO HOURS to fill my nails. It has never taken that long to even do a full set but about half way through she asked me if I wanted a massage. I decided to go ahead and try it. It was 10 bucks for 15 minutes. She called back to whoever did it. The little man appeared. I have seen him there every time but never saw him do anything but sit around. I knew the moment he laid his hands on me it was not going to be so relaxing. The massage started off with the Vulcan death pinch and went straight into various nerve damaging techniques. I am pretty sure at one point I went blind for a few seconds. It was as if he was trying to aerate my back or poke holes into my internal organs. It didn't stop at my shoulders..OH NO! He began kneading my arm fat. I felt like he was trying to make clay animals out of it. After arts and crafts he moved up to my head. He actually poked me in the eye with one move, causing my

Our Ball was last night and before i get to the goods, let me just say Happy Birthday, Marines! I am not a " moto wife" typically but I am proud of all of you. I wont me making a purse of out your work clothes but I do love ya, and all that came before you. Our Ball was at a casino on a reservation in the middle of nowhere. I get car sick pretty easily and this night was no different. It was up on a mountain, the roads were windy and narrow with rocks on one side and death drops on the other. When we got out of the truck I was thanking sweet baby Jesus for being alive. But then it occurred to me that we still had to go home. But I was thankful for that moment. We were there a bit early so we got to sit in the bar area in comfy chairs and people watch. The highlight of my night was I could smoke inside a building in the state of California. And I did. I did a little happy dance as I smoked. It was fantastic. As I enjoyed my smoke I watched the hot mess parade of women walkin

I am patting myself on the back right now. I have the best outfit planned out for the Ball this week and I paid 4 dollars. I'm awesome. I really am. I made this bolero tonight from an old curtain: Total cost $.97 for thread. I had a pair of shoes that I really loved but they were silver. I thought before I go out I would spray paint them with Krylon metallic gold from the garage. It worked. I am wearing a vintage dress I have been holding on to dying to wear for like two years. I am adding my lucky red crinoline because magic happens when I wear it. I made my hair flower too. The only thing I really bought was 3 bucks worth of costume jewelry. Yep. I did the Ball this year for less than a Tall Peppermint Mocha at Starbucks. Top that suckas! I'm super excited now. Four days til go time!

Since all of this crazy nonsense has been going on with the girl previously mentioned, I have not been able to fully understand her husband's (my friend) role. He seemed to really enable her behavior by lying to her or withholding details, making excuses for her or saying he wanted to "stay out of it" and I got so mad because it seemed like he was truly the root of the problem. I was so angry because he just ran and hid the moment she started raging on everyone around her. He told me one thing and then her another. I know him to be a good person. Of course, i am not married to him or in a relationship. I felt like I know one side of him and his wife another. Listening to her talk about him while here made me really question if I knew him at all. But, that was before I really knew her emotional issues. I just remember sitting here thinking the guy that I had grown to adore was a total douchebag and what the hell is he doing to his poor wife. But now...now I know why. I a

Now that I know what it is and have gotten tools on how to deal with it and understand why they think they do I am a little more at peace. I am officially setting a clear and unmistakable boundary. I will not feed into the destructive behavior. Had I really understood how they think I would have never tried to defend myself or confront her on her lies, accusations and misinterpretations. The only way to stop a person with Borderline Personality Disorder is to disengage completely. Regardless of what they say about you, to you etc. They want that high, that reaction. Its what they live for. Like a tornado from one crisis to a next, blame, shame, guilt and manipulation. Total devastation. But I digress. Let me start from the beginning. I have a good friend. We've been friends since High School. We became very close a few years ago when I was pregnant with my youngest and his wife was pregnant with theirs. We reconnected on Myspace. We talked regularly since. Nothing life altering, mo

I keep up to date on my Zombie Apocalypse news. I am prepared for anything but when Z-Day happens...trust me, I'm prepared. Zombies don't evolve. Well, only in the respect that they were dead and now undead. That's the extent of evolution. If zombisim is a result of a virus this can be the only answer. Have you ever heard of a virus making you feel BETTER or healthier? No. Its degenerative. If it were a super zombie virus it will not make them smarter faster harder to kill. The opposite. They will starve off quicker. Degenerate faster. In my mind Zombies have a shorter life cycle than a fly. And really that's all the matters. Who can disprove it? There aren't any studies on it. My word is as good as any. They are slow moving, brain eating idiots who won't get far unless you have an insane willingness to just end it all. I read a theory tonight on a website that gave "zombie hot spots" as major airports. FAIL. Zombies aren't terrorists. They can