Yes, this is my life

I mentioned of Facebook today that my husband and I will be celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary Friday. That not only is it ten years married but ten years of Active Duty War time. We married two weeks before the war in Iraq began. We also got married in a Drive Thru in Vegas I was asked to share the story of us.  Somehow, in all that chaos we not only stuck together but grew. We beat the odds. He retires from the Marine Corps this year. We leave this lifestyle, the one we have grown to love in a month. We leave together. We made it. I met my husband in 1993. I was a teenager and my best friend and his best friend were siblings. The Mackey's. Casey and Tim. I was at their sisters house one day when a boy pulled up in a Mustang. He got out and was the tallest person I had ever seen. That's pretty much all I remember of him that day. I said hi. He did the same. Weeks went by and he seemed to be everywhere I went. He didn't say much but he did proudly mention he was

Ten years ago today my divorce was final from my son's father. I didn't even realize it because its also my middle sons 8th birthday. A happy day washed away the bad.  I was walking my daughter to school this morning and I ran into a neighbor. We started to chat as I do. Random nonsense really. That's how I roll. As I was talking to her though I could see that she was starting to crack but didn't want to pry. As I said my good bye she said "Hey one more thing! We're going through some hard times and I was hoping you can be my extra set of eyes on the boys in the neighborhood and at school." I said of course and I asked are they having a hard time lately? At that point the tears just wouldn't stop. Shes lost. She said they are divorcing and she doesn't even know what to do. Is she going...is he? And where? Shes got school, the kids have school.... Anyone who's been through a divorce knows where she is right now. When I see people in this pl

Last night I had a terrible dream and it wasnt until I tried to sleep tonight that it came back to me in full vivid detail. Now, I cant get it out of my head. It was terrible. I remember now that I woke up during the dream and was frightened like a child. I sat awake for several minutes trying to calm myself down. I dont know what it means. In the dream my father and I were meeting with a real estate agent and following him out to a property he thought I would be interested. In the dream I was also caring for a small boy, babysitting. My children were not present. We drove quite a ways and I remember seeing and feeling the sunlight strobe through the trees as the road winded to a gate. We got out and toured the farm and all the buildings. When we came to the last building, it was like a pole barn and there was an older trailer parked inside. We giggled and I said "does this piece of junk come with the property?" The agent looked puzzled and said something about it not being

Child Sex Abuse: One of our societies dirty little secrets. Its a taboo subject with many misconceptions. The myths have stood for generations because people are ashamed or uncomfortable speaking about it. The truth is, its not your fault. You didn't cause it to happen. Nothing you can do at 6,7,8,13 or 14 can make a grown adult cross that line. You were a child. They may have made you feel like you came on to them but thats what makes a predator good at their job. They create so much confusion and shame that even into our adult lives we fear how others will see us. So we keep these secrets. Our secrets keep us sick. We can never never put it behind us and begin to heal and be whole again until we stare it down. We must commit to beating it. To do nothing is to let the predator win. Sex abuse is nothing about sex and all about power. When we hold on to the secret...they will keep our power. We must take our power back. Childhood sexual abuse can be defined as any exposure

I am constantly learning and growing in this life. I am always surprised. Things I thought I had long since buried resurface and I am forced to face them point blank. Today was one of those moments. It has put me in a full on anxiety attack. The likes of which I have not experienced in years. After I puked my guts out a bit ago the feeling lingered. I reflected and I have decided the only way I can make my mind still is to share. I have to type it out, get it off my chest and try to release the chaos that is swirling in my head. So bear with me, my mind is racing faster than my fingers can form the words. I got a friend request on Facebook a few days ago. I have seen the little girl post on my nieces page and assumed she was one of her friends. I was flattered and accepted. Over the next few days I noticed a lot of her status updates were sad, defeated and depressed. I thought I have to try to find out whats going on with her. When I clicked on her page I realized...it was my cousin

I spent a lot of time with my grandparents as kids. There were several times in my childhood that we lived under the same roof. These were the best memories. Our house was always clean, always smelled like baking bread and there was peace. I talk about my grandma a lot. Its common knowledge that she is the single most influential person of my life. I realized I haven't mentioned my grandpa. Its not that he was not incredibly important but more that he was a man of few words. However, when he spoke you listened. There were three rules in my grandpa's home. 1) Don't give the dog candy. 2) We are silent when the news is on and the third and most important rule was NEVER touch grandpas black book. It always sat in the same place. On the table in the living room right next to his recliner. It was small, and had a leather cover. It was worn and old. Just not being able to touch it made it interesting. After dinner and the news every night, he sat in that recliner under the lig

Their latest nonsense is incredible. Westboro Says Gays are to Blame For Hurricane . I was going to go with Global Warming. We have proof that Global Warming is happening but who needs facts in their "church". I am offended that these people use "Church" to describe their organization of hatred. God doesn't hate. God doesn't say we should accost and harass people into his way, does he? I am a christian hetero married mother of three. My husband is a US Marine, I love my country and I love God. God loves ALL. God does not "punish" in this life or any other.  I am not afraid of homosexuals. I don't think they will make me gay or try to rape my children. I don't think God will damn me in the next life for loving people regardless of their sexual preference. Hating someone for being gay is no different than hating someone for the color of their skin, the God they love, Or the country they came from. Homosexuals are just like you. You don&

It was recently announced that we have lost more service members this year to suicide than in combat. The statement is shocking, considering we are occupying Afghanistan and other war torn areas of the world and everyday another name is added to the list. People don't want to talk about the suicides. Its as if its a shameful secret swept under the rug. According to the Army soldier suicide is up 80%. EIGHTY PERCENT. We are doing something wrong. It seems that those who truly need help are afraid to talk and those who don't want to quickly blame PTSD for any shortcoming they have in life after war. On the news, if someone robs a bank the first thing they report is he was a combat veteran in one of the branches of the US Military. They skirt around PTSD as a motive. PTSD is real and its not an excuse to toss around lightly. I know why our service members don't reach out. I have been personally effected by it and now since my husband is weeks from retirement and 20 years of

When I was in the office at school today a teacher brought in a group of girls to see the principal about playing a "game" in class in which they burn their skin with a large pink eraser. Its a practice that they defended as just a game or a dare. It left major burns on their hands and wrists. My stomach dropped but I kept my mouth closed until they walked away. I then mentioned to the secretary that this is no game. Its a form of self mutilation and although the kids can try to explain it away as just simple curiosity and boredom it is not. It could be nothing but it is a red flag for something much bigger. Self harm is a sign of abuse and emotional distress. The compulsion to hurt yourself is not the problem at all...its the reason you are compelled to hurt yourself that is the issue. Self injury is a symptom. The emotions behind it are the problem. Sure its dangerous, but not nearly as dangerous as what cause you to feel that way. Its a cry for help. I share this in

We successfully finished our first week of school this year! So far its been so much fun. All my babies are school agers! So, naturally being a stay at home mom I am at school more than home. I have been volunteering as much as I am needed. Today I got the honor of helping in my daughter's kindergarten class. It was a thrill but also a bit sad. Most people who know me know that my eldest son (now a teenager) is special needs. He has a learning disability (or different ability as I like to call it.) as well as several other neurological issues. He has many sensory issues that make how he sees/hears/feels the world a bit different than the average kid. I was in my daughters class for about five minutes when I spotted a little girl. I recognized her but could not place where it was I had seen her. Its not a surprise though. We have lived here five years and I have been a team parent in sports and my kids have done many activities on base so I dismissed it at first. Her behavior in

I have been asked to show you how to do one of my hairstyles and its really easy. It can be done in minutes and makes people think you actually spent major time doing your hair. Its trickery. Hair trickery. And I will share my cheat because I love you. First the basics: Yep, thats all you need. Everyone has these lying around. I found the bobby pins in my couch cushions because I have a habit of pulling pins out in the evening while watching TV. A confession from me to you. The First step: Everyone with me so far? This is easy...yeah! Then, this:   Tip: (oooh I love secrets!) Remember when pinning the loose bun dont try to be symmetrical. Dont even look back there. Pretend you are blind. When you try too hard it looks weird. Next, pull a second pony tail back under the bun. Just like the first. And start wrapping a new loose bun in the opposite direction. Again pinning randomly and connecting to the upper bun. When you get good with the concept, you

Next week it will be 14 years ago I married TJs dad. Time flies, and at the same time there are moments when it seems like it never happened. We were married only four years. It was straight out of high school for me. In June of 1997 I graduated high school. In June of 1998 I married Tony. We were so young and not equipped to take on the role of a spouse. We gave it a good try but in the end it wasn't meant to be. I have no regrets and it was no mistake. Thanks to our first "practice run" we learned how to be successful husband and wife to our current spouse. We also had, TJ a year after our wedding. We have learned so much co-parenting him the past 13 years. We learned a lot of lessons the hard way. I guess I couldn't fully appreciate the respect I have for him without those trials and tribulations. I don't say that lightly. It was no cake walk. We hurt each other a great deal during the custody suit. Man, it was rough. I can say now that I like him more t

On December 17th, 20 month old Ayla Reynolds went missing from her crib in her home, in the dark of night.... Or so that is what her father reported. http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/45846319/ns/today-today_people/t/dad-missing-toddler-what-you-are-doing-isnt-right/#.T3CbsNU4S1w I saw this interview the day it was aired and my reaction was "You did this." Of course if was just based on my gut and the weird way he spoke. Now, Almost three months later I even more certain of his involvement and after watching this again, knowing more facts I can tell you he will lie about and talk around anything to save his own ass. Here is a transcript and my own notes: __________________________________________________________________________________ in a statement he said " it's important the public hear it from me personally that i have no idea what happened to ayla and i'm not in hiding."(1) this investigation has gone over for two weeks. law enforcement s

Everyone knows I am a rabid children's advocate. Especially those children from troubled backgrounds. Children who have lives that mirrored my own childhood. No one was there for me, keeping an eye on what was going on and holding my parents accountable. I feel obligated and compelled to do this now. Of the missing children cases I am following now... Ayla Renyolds, Aliayah Lunsford, Skye Metawalla and Jhessey Shockley there are striking similarities. All cases have had CPS/DHHS/Criminal abuse and neglect investigations prior to/during disappearance. All were reported kidnapped. All cases have parental substance abuse/mental illness issues. From what I have gathered all are missing at a parents hand and NONE have resulted in an arrest. It frustrates me and breaks my heart. Someone, somewhere is dropping the ball. The kids are paying the price. I think we need to really take a look at our systems and procedures again, CPS. Either do it right or dont do it at all. I dont want to

Anonymity is for AA and the church Confessional. It has no place on the Internet. I got this email today: " Dear Misty, Congress has a plan to change the Internet forever. A bill they're debating right now would  give the government power to shut down whole websites, and even let corporations say which websites should be shut down . That means a huge corporation could have any website even suspected of violating a copyright shut down -- no questions asked. The government could then  completely block all access to sites as big as Facebook or YouTube  if  one  person posts  one  thing on those websites that corporations don't want online. Most major entertainment companies have come out in support of the bill, but despite swirling rumors, the huge video-gaming company Electronic Arts (EA) has yet to take an official stance. However, EA is part of the Entertainment Software Association, one of the big corporate lobbyists for the bill to censor the Internet

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 First! A small victory, through many many reports Facebook FINALLY shut down the hateful mock memorial page for Amanda Cummings. I went toe to toe with several members of the hate groups 4Chan and 9Gag on the memorial page. The major misconception with them is she committed suicide over a boy and she was a slut. So, I want to take a minute to explain a few things in my opinion. No one commits suicide just because they were dumped or because they are sad. She was in a condition that made her think irrationally. From what I gathered there were several circumstances present that attributed to her choice. I think (and I cant say for sure, I am not a doctor or know all of the facts) she had a history of mental illness, was bullied and then also dumped. Now, for a typical teen  with no mental illness being bullied and having your heart broken are very emotionally distressing circumstances. When you add in clinical depression or other mental illness its what I would call "the perf

We always say to our teens "You have no idea how easy your life is! Oh, I would so switch places with you!" Take a second to really remember your youth. Being a teenager was sooo complicated. Socially, its the most uncomfortable time of our lives. There is so much going on in that period of time. Our peers dont make it any easier. When we look back at our teenage selves we hopefully can giggle but dont be surprised if you find yourself screaming ABORT MISSION! and backing out of that though ASAP. Everything is so important as a teenager. Your hair, your clothes, your car, your behavior, your choices. One wrong move and you are a social pariah. God forbid you be too smart, or pretty or anything because people will pick on you. We just wanted to blend into the background. Tiptoe by the whole day. If I could offer up advice to teenage girls it would be...It gets easier. Girls pick on each other because they feel inferior. If they call you ugly, its the opposite. They thin

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