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Showing posts from September, 2016

What I've learned since his suicide

What I've learned above all since his death is suicidology . Not just the sterile clinical study of what causes suicide but rather, the raw ugly reality of how the mind of someone considering suicide really works. It can't be summed up in meaningless often misleading statistics. The focus has been so firmly sighted on the number 22 that it's completely lost its meaning. The public has forgotten that those 22 were fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters sons and daughters. They were people who were loved and people who are sorely missed every minute of every day. Suicidology isn't just the study of what causes suicide and the prevention of a death...it's giving a suicidal person hope and the tools to tackle their demons. Preventing a death isn't good enough...not with out the understanding and trust that it can and will get better. It's not just prolonging a life...afterall, you can stop the suicide today but if they aren't given the proper skills and resou

Love After Loss

I am 100% convinced that the partner I have chosen in this leg of my journey has made it possible to heal and love again. I owe him a debt of gratitude for allowing me to come to terms with my reality as a team. He shares in our loss and is patient understanding and humble. Losing your spouse especially at a young age is incredibly difficult. On one hand you're expected to grieve "properly" and the other: to "move on". Both are unrealistic expectations by friends and family...a society really who do not truly understand this grief. There is no proper way to grieve and you never really move on.  These things are myth. Being a majority belief or concept doesn't make it the right belief or concept. That is a hard road for us. Just knowing that these beliefs are expected by others but that we don't have to give the people what they want. By nature we want to please those around us. Pleasing others will not help us ultimately and many of us learn that the ha