Yes, this is my life

Some people describe the sudden death of a spouse as having the air suddenly taken from their lungs but I would have to disagree. I know that lack of air is certain death. It's been nearly three years since my husband died and I'm still here. I think the death of a spouse or other close loved one is more like the loss of a limb. In most cases it won't kill you but it will permanently alter every aspect of your life and how you live it. You will survive. You're just different. You have to relearn even the basics in life. TAPS Peer Mentors are like being fitted with a prosthetic limb after the loss of your own. You could probably get by without one but, the introduction of such a device opens up new possibilities to get back to a new "normal" faster and with a renewed determination. The decision to accept a TAPS Mentor is much like the choice to use your prosthetic arm. You make the call. We can be utilized or not. As little or as much as you decide. We are the

It seems like my biggest triggers in the past few years are Weddings, Funerals and Wedding Anniversaries. Its pretty obvious why. I still do my best to confront those anxieties. At first I avoided them at all cost...making any excuse to get out of attending. I just could not bring myself to be involved in any way. I knew fully how unfair it was to those celebrating. I knew it was selfish and I felt remorse but I couldn't get past my own "pity party". Last year I attended the first wedding since Mike died. I was asked to help with the decorating of the reception and I could not refuse. It was a good friend of Sean's. She actually helped raise his son. It was the least I could do. I didn't want to be there. Not because of the people, I didn't oppose of the union...it was just so painful for me to see couples in love and celebrating. It felt like being sucker punched in the gut. I did not sit through the vows, instead I stayed in the reception area decorating