If You Could...Would You?
It's hard to even imagine I'd ever come to a day when I'd be able to say this but... If someone asked me if I could bring Mike back, would I? The answer today is absolutely not. There was a point in my life that I prayed it was just a dream and to please wake up to my ordinary life. But things have changed with time. The only way I can really describe it is I'm finally coming out of a fog. Things that made perfect sense once seem so irrational now. I would absolutely not bring back the Mike that he was at the end of his life. He didn't even like himself. To some that may sound cruel and cold but he was a stranger in the last months and weeks of his life. I am sure he didn't even recognize himself in the mirror. It would be selfish to bring him back just for the sake of him existing. It would be more detrimental to the kids to be raised by someone who refused to acknowledge his illness. The chaos and fear they would feel would form who they become. My son