Mothers Day

So it came and went. Part of me was a bit sad because their father is gone and he's the reason I'm a mom but then there is the part of me that realizes how lucky we are to be alive and together, the kids and I. I know without a doubt I would die for my kids. I would jump in front of a bullet for them because I did.

You hear people say "I'd die for you" but until you experience it you cannot truly appreciate the concept. And the strangest thing about it is I didn't think twice about putting myself between my kids and that rifle.

The night Mike died he walked around the house casually with that loaded rifle. I did the only thing I could think of in the moment and lured him to the garage and put all of my body weight on the door. He tried to get back in. He pushed and I pushed back harder. The kids slept soundly just ten feet from where we struggled. I just knew that if he did shoot through the door I would be hit and my slumped body would prevent him from getting through, saving my kids. There was no question I was going to protect my babies first and foremost. 

We lost him that night but the police officer who arrived shortly after said I saved their lives. The outcome could have been very very different. I absolutely hate to even consider that scenario but I am extremely grateful I have my beautiful kids. They will never know about the events that took place that night only that their mama loves them with my whole heart and when push comes to shove I will always put them first. 

Everyday I wake up to their adorable faces is Mother's Day for me. The make me insane sometimes but that's parenting. I wouldn't have it any other way. They are most important. They are all I have in the world that means anything. I will be the one constant in their life. My love for them only gets stronger. I am so lucky God gave me my three babies. I must have done something right.