For Paul

I have a friend named Paul. I have known him since we were children. He's 35, is a pilot, is energetic, athletic and has a great smile. He's got no mental defects. Yet, he's single. In his opinion he is "lady-delayed". That's Misty-speak for painfully shy around women. Like really really. He's such a catch too. He said today that he doesn't know how to talk to girls. I said "bull, I have a vagina and we talk all the time!"  His response was that I was "taken" and it's easy to talk to women when they are taken and the pressure is off. Ah-ha! I see the issue. So I'm going to give you the inside scoop. The inner workings of the female mind. How to woo them every time. I may get kicked off the team for sharing this but it's worth the risk. He deserves love! Here we go....

If you are just looking for sex, just show up to any bar across the country or hell the world. Find the broad who's stumbling around with one of her shoes in her hand and mumbling about not being able to find her ride home. (Trust me. There is a broad like this in every bar...in every city...every night) pretend to bump into her. Give her a Douchebag Cinderella line about missing her shoe or that the clocks struck midnight and her carriage is now a pumpkin but you'll be her Prince Charming. You'll be banging before last call....

However....

If you want a woman who's interested in an actual relationship. A woman of substance. someone worthy of all you have to give my advice is this: (this is the good stuff here. Paying attention?)

...Talk to all girls as if they are taken. Talk to them as if you've known them since grade school. Listen when they speak. Women don't want to be hit on. (We make fun of your pick up lines in the ladies room. More secrets!) we don't want cheese. We want an emotional connection. 

Trust me if you connect with a woman emotionally, you will be connecting with her physically as long as you'll have her.

If you have a common interest and show genuine attention to her there is no need to "hit on" a lady. Cut the bullshit. Remove the pressure and smile. Make eye contact and be yourself. 

Women want the same thing men do. Women feel love through emotional connection. Men feel love through physical connection. It's a win/win. 

Now go get 'em tigers! Breathe...

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