Yes, this is my life

Most people know I am somewhat fascinated with criminal behavior and what makes people tick in general. I follow several stories at a time but one story in news recently has touched me so deeply. From the moment I saw her photo I loved her. I saw something in her eyes that was so familiar. Then I started to learn her story and understood. Her name is Aliayah Lunsford. She is 3 and went missing over 40 days ago. If you dont know the specifics of her story read the link. Missing She is a lost child in more ways than one. In a lot of ways she is me at her age. My heart aches for her. I find myself scouring every site on the internet more than once a day for more information about her case. I am now dreaming about her at least three times a week. My dream is always the same. I am not sure what the dream means but its very vivid. I have even visited psychic websites to see if their visions are anything like my dream. Yes, its becoming an obsession. Sadly, I dont think she is going

 I have many personality flaws. One is self restraint, especially in the area of keeping my opinions to myself. Its something that I have to work on daily. Some of it ADD but its mostly just me. Today, I exercised what little self restraint I do posses. It was super duper hard. But, I did it. *patting myself on the back* My niece posted a photo of her little brother (not a relation to me. Her mom has hree babies, three baby daddies) on Facebook. He was wearing hunting camouflage.The same kind my former husband/her uncle/my sons father wears. I said "Hes wearing Camo just like *Uncle Tony*. Nice!" Harmless. No biggie. Not another thought. I came back on a few hours later to see her aunt (Her moms sister, not related to me and has hated me since highschool when I stole her boyfriends) commented "No, hes wearing an outfit like *'some other douchebag-not relevant to the story'*. Please do not associate him with *Tony*". I was baffled and also offended. I the

I turned 16 in 1995. I got my drivers license on the first try at 8am, in a snow storm on my 16th birthday. That was in January. The high point of my teenage experience! The rest of the year, a series of low points and the absolute worst year of my teens. I have to start in 1991. I moved to a small town outside of St. Louis. It was my 12th move and it was not unlike the ones before it. I met a girl after we settled. We became the best of friends. We had our own language, we shared our secrets, or religion and our dreams. She was the childhood friend Judy Blume told us about. Although we were growing and finding ourselves we somehow stayed close. In 1993, She came to my house hysterical. She told me a story that to this day I can remember every single word. She told me that evening after being in the sun all day and her back was burned, she asked her father to rub lotion on her back. He did but he didnt stop at her back. She said she couldnt move. She couldnt speak. She couldnt believ

Rarely do I ever share my political or spiritual views as I feel that they are personal. However... Next month marks my husbands 18th year with the Marines. It is also the 2nd anniversary of my cousins death. He was killed in Iraq. He was only 25. It is such a mixture of emotion but the common feeling is pride. I am so proud of both boys. This week, the supreme court sided with Westboro Baptist Church. It was a slap in the face. The irony that WBC members are protected by the same constitution the service members died protecting is twisted. I cant speak for all military wives but I will tell you that I take every killed or wounded service member personally. I cannot hear Taps or see a flag draped casket without choking up. I cannot help but think I could be her. He could be my husband. I empathize so deeply. I want to tell them I how proud I am of them, how grateful I am for their service. In that moment she is in the most vulnerable place possible and nothing that we do or say can ma

Or Friedrich Nietzsche, whatever. I have a bone to pick with him. This quote mostly " “ When a woman has scholarly inclinations there is usually something wrong with her sexuality ” Really? Its in all of the "Most important quotes' lists and websites. Since hes dead I will just go ahead and list my grievance here. I would like to add a quote to the list. Here is my submission "Go Fuck yourself Freddy!' Oh, maybe if you had fucked yourself you wouldn't have contracted and died from Syphilis. Just sayin'. For the most part I think his writing is total BS. I guess if my father and brother died when I was young I would be mad at God too. Its really easy to challenge your faith in those situations. He never married or had a relationship. He lived with his mother. Hes quoted as saying his best accomplishment was a friendship with another man. I think he would have done a lot less thinking and questioning morality, religion and life if he'd just admitted th

My niece wants to be her for Halloween. I am not thrilled. She has a song out now. The title is text speak. Shes apparently rolling so hard that she cant take the time to spell out three letter words. We R who we R. I’ve got that glitter on my eyes Stockings ripped all up the side Looking sick and sexy-fied So let’s go-o-o (Let’s go!) (Sick yes, but if I saw you like that I would assume you were just gang raped and take you to a hospital.) [chorus] Tonight we’re going hard Just like the world is ours We’re tearin’ it apart You know we’re superstars We are who we are! We’re dancing like we’re dumb Our bodies go numb We’ll be forever young You know we’re superstars We are who we are! Or my version Tonight were going hard, just like we are pole stars. We're clearly not that smart, You know we'll have some scars We dont know where we are. Our ears are full of cum I cant sit on my bum My head beats like a drum Hey do you know where we are? There is a part in the be

I have been hearing things the past few days that really just break my heart. So I want to remind you all the you really are perfect. Just like you are right now. I was in Walmart checking out. The cashier and I began chatting about girls clothing. She mentioned her daughter was "fat". She said she is always trying to wear "sexy" clothes and they looked terrible. She said "I have to tell her she is too fat for sexy clothes". She then mentioned she was FIVE YEARS OLD. I wanted to reach across the checkout and throttle her. First, no 5 year old should be trying for "sexy" and how dare she tell her child she is too fat? At ANY AGE! 5 year olds dont even know what sexy is unless their role models are teaching them its important. My sister called me in tears yesterday. She has tried several times to pass college math and is struggling. She is starting to doubt herself as a person because she is crummy at math. I wanted to cry with her right there. A

Every single time I sit down to sew or start a project I think of her. Without fail. I am not sure if its one of my OCD rituals or if she is just that influential in my creativity. I do truly believe that everything I know about art and life, started with her. She was an indescribable personality. I can try but it wont do her justice. If you knew her, you loved her. She was funny and smart. She was resourceful and busy. I don't think she ever sat down for longer than a minute or two. When I think back to my childhood it was with her that I felt the safest, the most loved and encouraged. She had a back bedroom. In that bedroom was a table. It was just an old dining table she converted into a sewing area. It was always filled with fabrics and patterns. She didn't sew every day but there was always a project back there. I remember watching her sew from the bed across the room. The hum of the sewing machine was soothing. Like white noise. I really wish I had asked more questions. W

**I have Regretsy on my "likes" with Facebook and one of the writers for Brides. Com. She posted her latest article and I just have to reply. Here is her article: Her Day I want to start with HAHAHAHAHA....HA...HAHAHAHA. Now that I got that out I can get on with it. Do they have a Grooms.com? Grooms magazines? Grooms Conventions? Groomzilla ? No. Wanna know why? Guys in general just don't give a crap about flowers, unity candles and favors. A man's biggest choice when getting married is cumber-bun or vest. They don't even get to pick the color of said vest. No, you aren't asking the wrong questions. Its a trick question because no matter what they say in the end you will do what you want anyway. All the crap about not wanting to be with a man who doesn't have an opinion on your bouquet arrangement is laughable at best. He wants to be married to you. Is that not enough? Leave the guys alone. The whole time I was reading the article I though of the sce

I would never want to be a politician. Not because I could potentially be assassinated but because when push comes to shove, they get all crazy on each other like the sick kid who started the debate. After the shooting in Arizona was announced I knew immediately the Loughner was sick. For the past few days all the buzz has been about this "politically motivated" tragedy. The democrats fighting the republicans on every possible angle...except the actual issue. I am sitting back reading and listening to all of this thinking "how can they not see this"? Their personal attacks, Tea party, Palin, gun control. Stop the insanity! This has nothing to do with politics and everything to do with mental illness. Loughner is schizophrenic. Not all schizophrenics attempt to assassinate public figures but unfortunately most who have or attempted WERE. Sirhan Sirhan, Mark David Chapman, Valerie Solanas, John Hinckley Jr. Do any of these names look familiar? They probably should. Al