Happy 40th birthday, Mike!

He would have been the big 4-0. I spent years building up material to razz him on this milestone day. I'd quote from the movie Big Daddy and call him "old balls". "OMG I'm married to OLD BALLS?!" I would throw him a party as I always did even though he asked me not to and he'd be all low key like it was no big deal turning 40 and I would know deep down he felt loved and expected me to make a big deal out of it. He knew...

I would blast the shit out of Metallica's Black Album, pour him a jack and Dr Pepper and pull his birthday lasagna out of the oven right before we sang to him and he blew of 40 cake candles (if that many candles didn't burn the house down first!)

Speaking of the black album I will share a funny story about his devotion to Metallica. When we first got married the cd was in his car. The songs played over and over again. To the point I assumed the cd was jammed in the player. I never thought to check because it played constantly. Only a crazy person would listen to the same CD day in and day out for a year! We even drove a 2000 miles trip from San Diego to St. Louis with NOTHING to listen to but this album. I loved Metallica too but seriously, I can now tell you every song on the album in order and quote any line from any song. 

Ten years later we we sitting in the garage talking with friends and Enter Sandman came on the radio. I said "Do you remember when you got this cd jammed in your car stereo and we had to listen to it everyday for like a year?!" He looked at me confused and said "it wasn't jammed I just really love that entire album!"


Hahahah! Oh em gee. It's my fault for assuming I guess. Anyway if you want to honor him today on his birthday pick any song on that album and turn that shit up. 

Nothing Else Matters was one of songs. We were always separated while he served in the Marines. In Iraq, across the country, training....we connected to this song. So close No matter how far. 

I had no idea the sad irony and depth of that line would become. Even in death. Nothing else matters. It's as if he was preparing me for years to accept that one day I would need that song--that awareness and knowledge with the complete reassurance in my hardest moments on this earth without him. 

I even tried to have the line put on his headstone but it wouldn't fit due to all his military medals and war time service.

I rocked that entire play list today for him. For his day that never came.  

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