Top Ten Reasons I'm Glad I'm not a Celebrity

sure, they may have the nicest cars and go on amazing vacations, have huge homes etc. but I can overlook all that. As a matter of fact there are a ton of reason we regular people are better off. I will list my top ten. they are as follows in no particular order:

* no one has ever taken a photograph of my vagina as I'm getting out of a car.
* I can get up in the morning, throw on sweatpants to go for coffee and no one even notices. There are no tabloids suggesting I'm pregnant, or on drugs for the next month. I just got coffee.
* I will never appear in an unflattering collection of "celebrities without makeup" 
*no one is ever going to awkwardly ask for my autograph under a restroom stall wall.
*if my tit should fall out of my blouse in public, it won't be captured by paparazzi. I will just make a mental note to not go to said location for awhile.
*there will never be a sex tape of me in night vision for sale on the Internet.
*no one is ever going to steal my dirty underwear and sell them on eBay.
*no one is ever going to befriend me gain my confidence and then write a tell all book because no one gives a shit about which way I put the toilet paper on the spindle. 
* I will never have to work in a movie beside creepy Tom Cruise
*when my career is going slow I won't have to supplement my income by appearing in an adult diaper commercial.

There are so many reasons you should be so thrilled to be average joe America. Don't be jealous. be thankful. Unless you like photos of your vagina passed around the Internet. Let that freak flag fly...


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