Please be Mindful

Tonight while waiting in a very long slow line at the gas station a boy who looked to be no more than 19 stood impatiently in front of me. I could tell he was a Marine. You just know when you see one after being married to one for 11 years. He turned to make eye contact with the car load of friends waiting for him and made the gesture I hate the most. The finger gun to his head. I cringed. I didn't say anything standing there in a crowded station but after we both paid I walked over to his car and gave his window a little tap. He opened the door and got out politely.

I told him I was sorry to bother him but I noticed the gesture he made in the gas station. I told him I could tell he was a Marine and my husband was a Marine too. He committed suicide much the way you joked with your friends just moments ago. His eyes began to well up with tears. I told him that seeing the gesture mocked really hurt my feelings and could others who have also lost loved ones this way. I told him I didn't want to tell him what to do but if he could be mindful of this and maybe use a different gesture to signal his impatience it would be really appreciated.

I felt awkward standing there tell this to a complete stranger but I also felt compelled to let him know that a simple joke to him can trigger a whole range of emotions to a person affected by suicide. Part of me thought I had no right to say something but another part of me needed him to know.

He apologized profusely. Genuinely. He asked for a hug. And I complied. I told him my husband was a good man, a good Marine and we are losing too many of them to suicide. He agreed. He understood what I was trying to say. He didn't tell me to funk off or give me attitude as so many people might. He seemed to care.
As scared as I was to mention this to him I am glad I did. I know if he should even begin to make the gesture again he will remember that moment standing in the gas station parking lot with the widow of a Marine taken too soon.

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