PTSD
Its the new ADHD. Its thrown out as an excuse for everything under the sun. If someone robs a bank, the first thing the media offers up is that they are a veteran who served in war time. PTSD is not a blanket "diagnosis" to excuse shitty behavior. Its a real condition that affects millions of people and you wouldn't even know it unless they told you.
PTS can help to understand WHY someone reacts or behaves in a certain manner but it is NEVER an excuse. Its not a "get out of jail free card". Its like diabetes or any other disease or condition. Its perfectly maintainable with proper medical care. If you are diabetic and don't maintain your insulin level you will be sick. It could be fatal. Alcoholism is similar. If you obtain proper care and acknowledge the problem you can live a full life. If you drink, it could eventually kill you. PTS is the same. Education and treatment is the key. It can absolutely take your life. The anxiety associated alone can kill you.
PTSD isnt something that only affects Combat veterans. And the way it manifests itself isn't always the stereotypical way the media and movies portray it. It silently and slowly kills its host. From the inside out. Any traumatic event can cause PTS and it does have to be directly violent. Only "life threatening".
In my case, a total of six minutes changed my brain chemistry for ever. It was a blink in time but in the moment felt like an eternity. My husband has himself been battling the silent war in his mind for nearly a decade, in complete denial. One Sunday evening with not provocation he reached for his rifle. I heard him rack it from the hallway. He opened the door and I saw it before I saw him. I was speechless. I could not speak. Literally. I reached for my phone and called 911 as I watched him pass right in front of me with the weapon in hand. His eyes were blank and distant. Expressionless. When I could get the words out I told the 911 operator my husband was standing in front of me with a loaded rifle, please come quick.
I was on the phone with 911 and glanced up at me from the landing with a look of shock and disgust and said "You called the fucking cops?!" Through the shock I realized our kids were down on the level he was headed, fast asleep in their beds. My instinct took over and I chased him down the stairs and lead him to the garage. When he passes through the door I slammed it and held my body weight against it. He shook the door handle and pushed a few times. I could not get the knob to lock. I begged him to put the gun down and held my breath. I could only put my body between him and our kids. I knew at any minute the bullet would enter my body. I could hear my heart beating.
...And then the shot rang out. It was less of a shot and more of a pop. No echo. No crash. No noise at all. For a second I thought I was dead. The silence was deafening. I realized I was not hit. I screamed out. The 911 operator heard the shot and told me to grab my kids and run as fast as I could as far as I could.
I grabbed them. And ran from our home trying to keep them out of the line of sight just knowing he was going to shoot me in the back as I cradled our babies. When we got to our neighbors home and made it inside I felt a moment of relief. We made it. But instantly I was terrified again. I just put my neighbor and her family in the nightmare. Would he come for us? Would they too be shot.
I noticed I still had my phone in my hand. Still on the line with the operator. I put it to my ear and pleaded they send someone FAST. She told me they were on their way.
I never saw him shoot himself. I refused to look at him. I never saw the aftermath. I did however fear for my life and the life of my family. I anticipated my own death. Even before it registered that he was already dead.
It does not take guts and gore to cause PTSD. Toss everything you think you know about it and educate yourself. If you think you may have it, seek help. Life can go on. Its going to be really hard sometimes but life can be hard for all of us.
My husband had PTSD and he was not a combat veteran. He did serve in a war zone four times. I can rattle off several life threatening situations he experienced that could have contributed to his condition. I don't need to justify it because I understand it. The government didn't rule his death service related but I do know better. I guess that's all I need.
PTSD is not an excuse I use to accept his death, it only helps to understand his state of mind when he did it. We are all responsible for our actions and choices. Sickness or not. Stop perpetuating the stigma. Please?
PTS can help to understand WHY someone reacts or behaves in a certain manner but it is NEVER an excuse. Its not a "get out of jail free card". Its like diabetes or any other disease or condition. Its perfectly maintainable with proper medical care. If you are diabetic and don't maintain your insulin level you will be sick. It could be fatal. Alcoholism is similar. If you obtain proper care and acknowledge the problem you can live a full life. If you drink, it could eventually kill you. PTS is the same. Education and treatment is the key. It can absolutely take your life. The anxiety associated alone can kill you.
PTSD isnt something that only affects Combat veterans. And the way it manifests itself isn't always the stereotypical way the media and movies portray it. It silently and slowly kills its host. From the inside out. Any traumatic event can cause PTS and it does have to be directly violent. Only "life threatening".
In my case, a total of six minutes changed my brain chemistry for ever. It was a blink in time but in the moment felt like an eternity. My husband has himself been battling the silent war in his mind for nearly a decade, in complete denial. One Sunday evening with not provocation he reached for his rifle. I heard him rack it from the hallway. He opened the door and I saw it before I saw him. I was speechless. I could not speak. Literally. I reached for my phone and called 911 as I watched him pass right in front of me with the weapon in hand. His eyes were blank and distant. Expressionless. When I could get the words out I told the 911 operator my husband was standing in front of me with a loaded rifle, please come quick.
I was on the phone with 911 and glanced up at me from the landing with a look of shock and disgust and said "You called the fucking cops?!" Through the shock I realized our kids were down on the level he was headed, fast asleep in their beds. My instinct took over and I chased him down the stairs and lead him to the garage. When he passes through the door I slammed it and held my body weight against it. He shook the door handle and pushed a few times. I could not get the knob to lock. I begged him to put the gun down and held my breath. I could only put my body between him and our kids. I knew at any minute the bullet would enter my body. I could hear my heart beating.
...And then the shot rang out. It was less of a shot and more of a pop. No echo. No crash. No noise at all. For a second I thought I was dead. The silence was deafening. I realized I was not hit. I screamed out. The 911 operator heard the shot and told me to grab my kids and run as fast as I could as far as I could.
I grabbed them. And ran from our home trying to keep them out of the line of sight just knowing he was going to shoot me in the back as I cradled our babies. When we got to our neighbors home and made it inside I felt a moment of relief. We made it. But instantly I was terrified again. I just put my neighbor and her family in the nightmare. Would he come for us? Would they too be shot.
I noticed I still had my phone in my hand. Still on the line with the operator. I put it to my ear and pleaded they send someone FAST. She told me they were on their way.
I never saw him shoot himself. I refused to look at him. I never saw the aftermath. I did however fear for my life and the life of my family. I anticipated my own death. Even before it registered that he was already dead.
It does not take guts and gore to cause PTSD. Toss everything you think you know about it and educate yourself. If you think you may have it, seek help. Life can go on. Its going to be really hard sometimes but life can be hard for all of us.
My husband had PTSD and he was not a combat veteran. He did serve in a war zone four times. I can rattle off several life threatening situations he experienced that could have contributed to his condition. I don't need to justify it because I understand it. The government didn't rule his death service related but I do know better. I guess that's all I need.
PTSD is not an excuse I use to accept his death, it only helps to understand his state of mind when he did it. We are all responsible for our actions and choices. Sickness or not. Stop perpetuating the stigma. Please?
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