One Parent vs Three Kids

I've felt sick the past 24 hours. Kids become extra rotten when they know their mom is not on her A game...it's in the rule book.

I was in and out of sleep all day. Thankfully my sister and brother in law were here so I could. 

I realized this is just another thing I miss about being married to their father. If one of us was feeling ill or just tired we could say "I'm heading to bed...you're the boss applesauce." 

I can't do that now. It's me. Just me. And, I guess it's no different than any other single parent but we made these kids together. Our kids.

I miss having a partner in parenting and life. I miss knowing someone had my back. 

I tried to take a bath this evening. I got about 5 minutes in when Mason and Kira started fighting over my iPad. It was a full brawl. I had to hop out dry off and break the fight up. There was no Mike around to at least get the shampoo out of my hair before playing referee.

My sister and Josh take turns getting up with and bathing Kaden. It's a good system and it makes me jealous at the same time. No one owes anyone, there is no issue because they are both his parents. They are in it together.

Sometimes josh takes Kaden out so Manda can have a few moments to herself and she does the same. I remember when Mike and I did this. I took it for granted. I thought I'd always have a partner in the chaos of parenting.

I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself tonight. I had someone beside me once. Willing to do all the same jobs and responsibilities equally. Now I lie here in bed just hoping their bedtime runs smooth so I can finally rinse the shampoo out of my hair and go to sleep.

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