Surviving Teenhood-Boys, Bullies and Big Girl Panties
We always say to our teens "You have no idea how easy your life is! Oh, I would so switch places with you!"
Take a second to really remember your youth. Being a teenager was sooo complicated. Socially, its the most uncomfortable time of our lives. There is so much going on in that period of time. Our peers dont make it any easier. When we look back at our teenage selves we hopefully can giggle but dont be surprised if you find yourself screaming ABORT MISSION! and backing out of that though ASAP.
Everything is so important as a teenager. Your hair, your clothes, your car, your behavior, your choices. One wrong move and you are a social pariah. God forbid you be too smart, or pretty or anything because people will pick on you. We just wanted to blend into the background. Tiptoe by the whole day.
If I could offer up advice to teenage girls it would be...It gets easier. Girls pick on each other because they feel inferior. If they call you ugly, its the opposite. They think you are prettier than them. If they call you fat...they feel THEY are fat. Remember the "opposite day" game we played in elementary school? Being a teenager is like a very long and twisted game of opposite day. Does knowing this make it any easier to deal with? I cant promise you that. It wont stop people from feeling the need to bully or harass you but when they say it take a quick second to think "Gah! It sucks that you feel that way about yourself!" Because trust me...9 times out of ten it has NOTHING to do with you.
Do what makes you happy. Not what you think others want you to do. For instance, I wanted to play volleyball in HS SO BAD...until I learned the team wore "spankies" which were basically just big underwear. I was mortified at the thought of my jiggly butt being seen in them. I regret that 15 years later.
Drugs and Alcohol do NOT make social interactions easier. You may feel more relaxed or accepted for about ten minutes before the buzz turns into intoxication and you are the kid who is running across the football field with your pant on your head, or puke in some hot guys car...or worse become a victim of a sexual assault. My senior year of HS I was "roofied" at a party. Luckily my best friend drove me home before I lost all body function and slept for three days.
Dating a 22 year old may sound cool but its not. Plan on tossing every school dance and typical HS experience away when you agree to date him. A man has no business with a 15 year old girl. There is something wrong with him. Just trust me on this.
The people who are important to you now...wont even remember your name in five year. In ten years when they look in a HS year book they will feel like they they mistakenly picked up someone else's year book...from another town. They will double check the cover to make sure it is, in fact...theirs.
You will probably never forget the people who picked on you but just wait...one day after... when you least expect it...you will have vindication. For me, it was about ten years after graduation. I had gone back to my home town and stopped at a grocery store. I was in the check out line when I heard a voice. I knew the voice. It was the super popular girl from HS who made me cry in Biology daily. She called me white trash and made fun of everything I wore, said or did. She was a cashier at the town grocery store. I had to stop myself from shouting "HAHAHA YOU LOSE!" It wasnt appropriate so I just smiled, took my change and said "thanks." (.It was an all inclusive thanks. You bagged me in school and karma has you bagging my frozen peas now.)
Finally, I will sign off with this: Its not "normal" to be picked on to the point that you want to drop a class, change your driving route or move to India to avoid it. Let someone know. If you ever feel overwhelmed with what is going on in your life find an adult you can talk to. If the parents are part of the probem or not helping find someone else. Find me! I am totally cool. I design clothes and have tattoos! lol No really, in all sincerity,...I can offer up an ear anytime. Dont feel alone. We have all been there. Some of us have just blocked those traumatic memories as a coping mechanism. Ha!
Take a second to really remember your youth. Being a teenager was sooo complicated. Socially, its the most uncomfortable time of our lives. There is so much going on in that period of time. Our peers dont make it any easier. When we look back at our teenage selves we hopefully can giggle but dont be surprised if you find yourself screaming ABORT MISSION! and backing out of that though ASAP.
Everything is so important as a teenager. Your hair, your clothes, your car, your behavior, your choices. One wrong move and you are a social pariah. God forbid you be too smart, or pretty or anything because people will pick on you. We just wanted to blend into the background. Tiptoe by the whole day.
If I could offer up advice to teenage girls it would be...It gets easier. Girls pick on each other because they feel inferior. If they call you ugly, its the opposite. They think you are prettier than them. If they call you fat...they feel THEY are fat. Remember the "opposite day" game we played in elementary school? Being a teenager is like a very long and twisted game of opposite day. Does knowing this make it any easier to deal with? I cant promise you that. It wont stop people from feeling the need to bully or harass you but when they say it take a quick second to think "Gah! It sucks that you feel that way about yourself!" Because trust me...9 times out of ten it has NOTHING to do with you.
Do what makes you happy. Not what you think others want you to do. For instance, I wanted to play volleyball in HS SO BAD...until I learned the team wore "spankies" which were basically just big underwear. I was mortified at the thought of my jiggly butt being seen in them. I regret that 15 years later.
Drugs and Alcohol do NOT make social interactions easier. You may feel more relaxed or accepted for about ten minutes before the buzz turns into intoxication and you are the kid who is running across the football field with your pant on your head, or puke in some hot guys car...or worse become a victim of a sexual assault. My senior year of HS I was "roofied" at a party. Luckily my best friend drove me home before I lost all body function and slept for three days.
Dating a 22 year old may sound cool but its not. Plan on tossing every school dance and typical HS experience away when you agree to date him. A man has no business with a 15 year old girl. There is something wrong with him. Just trust me on this.
The people who are important to you now...wont even remember your name in five year. In ten years when they look in a HS year book they will feel like they they mistakenly picked up someone else's year book...from another town. They will double check the cover to make sure it is, in fact...theirs.
You will probably never forget the people who picked on you but just wait...one day after... when you least expect it...you will have vindication. For me, it was about ten years after graduation. I had gone back to my home town and stopped at a grocery store. I was in the check out line when I heard a voice. I knew the voice. It was the super popular girl from HS who made me cry in Biology daily. She called me white trash and made fun of everything I wore, said or did. She was a cashier at the town grocery store. I had to stop myself from shouting "HAHAHA YOU LOSE!" It wasnt appropriate so I just smiled, took my change and said "thanks." (.It was an all inclusive thanks. You bagged me in school and karma has you bagging my frozen peas now.)
Finally, I will sign off with this: Its not "normal" to be picked on to the point that you want to drop a class, change your driving route or move to India to avoid it. Let someone know. If you ever feel overwhelmed with what is going on in your life find an adult you can talk to. If the parents are part of the probem or not helping find someone else. Find me! I am totally cool. I design clothes and have tattoos! lol No really, in all sincerity,...I can offer up an ear anytime. Dont feel alone. We have all been there. Some of us have just blocked those traumatic memories as a coping mechanism. Ha!
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