Child Sex Abuse: Things You Should Know
Child Sex Abuse: One of our societies dirty little secrets. Its a taboo subject with many misconceptions. The myths have stood for generations because people are ashamed or uncomfortable speaking about it. The truth is, its not your fault. You didn't cause it to happen. Nothing you can do at 6,7,8,13 or 14 can make a grown adult cross that line. You were a child. They may have made you feel like you came on to them but thats what makes a predator good at their job. They create so much confusion and shame that even into our adult lives we fear how others will see us. So we keep these secrets. Our secrets keep us sick. We can never never put it behind us and begin to heal and be whole again until we stare it down. We must commit to beating it. To do nothing is to let the predator win. Sex abuse is nothing about sex and all about power. When we hold on to the secret...they will keep our power. We must take our power back.
Childhood sexual abuse can be defined as any exposure to sexual acts imposed on children who inherently lack the emotional, maturation, and cognitive development to understand or to consent to such acts. These acts do not always involve sexual intercourse or physical force; rather, they involve manipulation and trickery. Authority and power enable the perpetrator to coerce the child into compliance. Characteristics and motivations of perpetrators of childhood sexual abuse vary: some may act out sexually to exert dominance over another individual; others may initiate the abuse for their own sexual gratification
One myth is that all people abused as children grow up to abuse as well. Sometimes its unfortunate but true. Most of the time we do NOT grow up to hurt children. We are the exact opposite. We become hyper sensitive and paranoid about our kids and the people around them. Sometimes thats ok but it can also hinder their development so its something we are mindful of also.
Of all the women I have talked to who were sexually abused as children the ones who are affected the deepest into adult life are the ones who were not helped as kids. We reached out but were called liars, told we were confused or just plain ignored. The resentment we carry for the trusted adults who failed us is just as painful as the memories of the abuse.
One of the biggest concerns of CSA is re-victimization. Once a child is abused they are about 1000% more likely to be abused again later in life. Especially if the abuse is not managed properly.
CSA is one of the most under reported crimes in our country. Some families think it should be handled behind closed doors...they are wrong. These types of things dont happen just once. You cant make a child abuser stop any more than you can make a drug addict stop using. They may stop abusing your child, but by not reporting it you are setting them up to abuse someone Else's. And, chances are they will.
1 in 5 girls are abused. 1 in 20 boys. 3 out of four children are abused by someone in their inner circle. 63% of people raped in adulthood report also being the victim of CSA.
Children living in homes of parental discord are at higher risk of abuse. Domestic abuse, addiction, one parent homes all make higher risk.
Children ages 7-13 are most vulnerable to CSA.
Myth: Only men abuse. More men than women abuse but women are capable of abusing and report of female perpetrators are on the rise.
Myth: Child molesters look like boogie men. The truth is they look like anyone else. The "best" ones are the ones you expect the least.
Myth: Child molesters abuse any and all children. Actually they have a type, much as anyone else has a "type". They careful groom children who are vulnerable.
Myth: Abused kids have physical signs of abuse. The fact is 80% of reported CSA is forcible groping. There is no physical marks only emotional.
Myth: CSA only happens in "bad homes". The fact of the matter is there is no socioeconomic or cultural link to abuse. It happens everywhere.
I am putting together a book to help empower children and put a plan in place just in case. Its called "That's NOT Ok!" My Pledge to tell TWO people. It will help children and parents talk about the topic. Sometimes it can be really hard to discuss. When I get it done I will make it available to anyone who wishes.
Childhood sexual abuse can be defined as any exposure to sexual acts imposed on children who inherently lack the emotional, maturation, and cognitive development to understand or to consent to such acts. These acts do not always involve sexual intercourse or physical force; rather, they involve manipulation and trickery. Authority and power enable the perpetrator to coerce the child into compliance. Characteristics and motivations of perpetrators of childhood sexual abuse vary: some may act out sexually to exert dominance over another individual; others may initiate the abuse for their own sexual gratification
One myth is that all people abused as children grow up to abuse as well. Sometimes its unfortunate but true. Most of the time we do NOT grow up to hurt children. We are the exact opposite. We become hyper sensitive and paranoid about our kids and the people around them. Sometimes thats ok but it can also hinder their development so its something we are mindful of also.
Of all the women I have talked to who were sexually abused as children the ones who are affected the deepest into adult life are the ones who were not helped as kids. We reached out but were called liars, told we were confused or just plain ignored. The resentment we carry for the trusted adults who failed us is just as painful as the memories of the abuse.
One of the biggest concerns of CSA is re-victimization. Once a child is abused they are about 1000% more likely to be abused again later in life. Especially if the abuse is not managed properly.
CSA is one of the most under reported crimes in our country. Some families think it should be handled behind closed doors...they are wrong. These types of things dont happen just once. You cant make a child abuser stop any more than you can make a drug addict stop using. They may stop abusing your child, but by not reporting it you are setting them up to abuse someone Else's. And, chances are they will.
1 in 5 girls are abused. 1 in 20 boys. 3 out of four children are abused by someone in their inner circle. 63% of people raped in adulthood report also being the victim of CSA.
Children living in homes of parental discord are at higher risk of abuse. Domestic abuse, addiction, one parent homes all make higher risk.
Children ages 7-13 are most vulnerable to CSA.
Myth: Only men abuse. More men than women abuse but women are capable of abusing and report of female perpetrators are on the rise.
Myth: Child molesters look like boogie men. The truth is they look like anyone else. The "best" ones are the ones you expect the least.
Myth: Child molesters abuse any and all children. Actually they have a type, much as anyone else has a "type". They careful groom children who are vulnerable.
Myth: Abused kids have physical signs of abuse. The fact is 80% of reported CSA is forcible groping. There is no physical marks only emotional.
Myth: CSA only happens in "bad homes". The fact of the matter is there is no socioeconomic or cultural link to abuse. It happens everywhere.
I am putting together a book to help empower children and put a plan in place just in case. Its called "That's NOT Ok!" My Pledge to tell TWO people. It will help children and parents talk about the topic. Sometimes it can be really hard to discuss. When I get it done I will make it available to anyone who wishes.
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