Ten Years Married
I mentioned of Facebook today that my husband and I will be celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary Friday. That not only is it ten years married but ten years of Active Duty War time. We married two weeks before the war in Iraq began. We also got married in a Drive Thru in Vegas I was asked to share the story of us.
Somehow, in all that chaos we not only stuck together but grew. We beat the odds. He retires from the Marine Corps this year. We leave this lifestyle, the one we have grown to love in a month. We leave together. We made it.
I met my husband in 1993. I was a teenager and my best friend and his best friend were siblings. The Mackey's. Casey and Tim. I was at their sisters house one day when a boy pulled up in a Mustang. He got out and was the tallest person I had ever seen. That's pretty much all I remember of him that day. I said hi. He did the same. Weeks went by and he seemed to be everywhere I went. He didn't say much but he did proudly mention he was leaving soon for the Marines. He asked if he could write me letters. I said sure and didn't really put any stock in it. If he wrote like he talked there wouldn't be much mail coming in. He left in April. I forgot all about it.
In June I was in Kansas City babysitting for my uncle. I remember watching the OJ Bronco Chase on TV. He also got married that summer. My mom came up for the wedding and when she got there she handed me two letters. Both had Iwo Jima photos on the envelopes. They were from Mike. And to my surprise they were pages and pages of writing. I learned more about him in those two letters than the entire time we saw each other face to face. Obviously I was swoony. He really wrote to me. He liked me.
He came home after boot camp and we saw each other several times before he left for school in Tennessee. He wasn't supposed to but he snuck away several weekends to see me. We officially started dating in November during Thanksgiving break. By Christmas we were a couple. He wrote letters and came to visit when he could. It was romantic and innocent. It was sweet. He finished school in TN and headed to ANOTHER school in California. He called but we didn't see each other obviously. The reality of how different our lives were hit. And then he told me he got orders for Japan. He asked me to marry him. I told him I didn't even have a drivers license that was just not going to happen. We ended up going our separate ways. We were just too young for something so big. He left for Japan and I finished High School.
I didn't stop thinking about him through the years. Whenever I saw a clunker Mustang driving around town I looked to see if he'd come back to visit. He never did. The year after I graduated High School I married a boy who took very good care of me. We were great friends. We enjoyed hanging out together. We just weren't in love the way a man and woman were meant to be. We played house because we both thought that was what we were supposed to do. We respected each other and in a lot of ways we did absolutely love each other. Our son was born in 1999.
In 2001 when the Twin Towers fell, I found myself worrying about the boy I once let go to the Marines. I wondered if he was still a Marine. Was he safe. Would he be okay. I day dreamed about how simple and innocent our love was. I still held him close to my heart. It may have been meant to be, that he was my true love, my soul mate...or the stress of being a grown up, a mom, a wife....I was 22. I pushed him out of my head just hoping for his safety.
My marriage finally started falling apart in 2002. By the summer I was back living at my moms house with my son and was separated from my husband. I was checking my email one night when I got a message from a site called Classmates.com. It said all my former class mates were waiting for me to join. So I did. As I was scrolling though I was sending messages to old friends and I came to his name. Michael Blum. He was registered. So I sent him a hello message. We sent a few back and forth. I told him I was married with a son. He said he was married too. I didn't mention that I was getting divorced until a few weeks later. He told me the truth was he was in the middle of a divorce too. The irony. His wife was from Japan. She went to visit her family and just never came back.
From that day we started up an online affair. Sending messages, emails, IMs. As often as we could. He invited me out to visit San Diego in August. I had never been on a plane or seen the ocean. I said yes. And it was the best week of my life. I never felt more comfortable or "home" than with him.
After I returned back to MO, my life went back to normal. The chaos, the divorce, the disapproval of my mother. The shame of feeling so happy talking to him when I was still technically married.
My divorce was supposed to be final in October of that year but my ex husband didn't or wouldn't take the required parenting class the State requires. So, it was pushed back to December. It was final on December 17 2002.
To celebrate Mike bought me a plane ticket to San Diego for New Years Day 2003. After I got there he said lets go to Vegas. I had never been. He said lets go get married. I laughed and reminded him I have technically only been divorced for two weeks! He was serious. I loved him with all my heart. I said lets do it. The whole drive to Vegas I went from being excited, to terrified, to nearly puking.
WHAT WERE WE DOING? No one is going to understand this. No one. But then, I realized that up until this point in life I have done exactly what I was told. I followed the rules. I want this. I need this.
We were married at the Little White Wedding Chapel at 12:02am January 4, 2003. We didn't stay long though. He wasn't supposed to leave a 50 mile radius of base. He was on call to leave for the Middle East. There were rumors that a war was going to happen. We were back to his apartment right at sunrise.
After we slept all day we met his friends for dinner at a local place. Mike casually mentioned "Hey we got married today." They all laughed . He said no really....
We just did that. The most insane thing either of us had ever done. And it felt good. It felt right. Two weeks later he was on a plane to Kuwait. The rumors about the war were true. I became a Marine Wife. He became a veteran of foreign war.
They say the first year of a marriage is the hardest. Well, yes and no. We never even argued once. He spent our honeymoon in Iraq. I spent it watching CNN. I didn't hear from him at all for 45 days. The longest stretch of no communication in ten years. When we finally did talk it was magical. He was safe. Until the next call.
I got hands on training. That's when I learned what it was going to take to make it in this lifestyle. If I can do this, anything else in life is a breeze.
Now, here we are three duty stations, four more deployments, two more kids and weeks from retirement. We did this.Ten years married. It feels like the blink of an eye. It all happened so fast. We are still like little kids though. I love him, I respect him, I admire his dedication to our country and the Marines but most of all I love the way I feel when he looks at me.
Here's to many more, love! Happy Anniversary.
Somehow, in all that chaos we not only stuck together but grew. We beat the odds. He retires from the Marine Corps this year. We leave this lifestyle, the one we have grown to love in a month. We leave together. We made it.
I met my husband in 1993. I was a teenager and my best friend and his best friend were siblings. The Mackey's. Casey and Tim. I was at their sisters house one day when a boy pulled up in a Mustang. He got out and was the tallest person I had ever seen. That's pretty much all I remember of him that day. I said hi. He did the same. Weeks went by and he seemed to be everywhere I went. He didn't say much but he did proudly mention he was leaving soon for the Marines. He asked if he could write me letters. I said sure and didn't really put any stock in it. If he wrote like he talked there wouldn't be much mail coming in. He left in April. I forgot all about it.
In June I was in Kansas City babysitting for my uncle. I remember watching the OJ Bronco Chase on TV. He also got married that summer. My mom came up for the wedding and when she got there she handed me two letters. Both had Iwo Jima photos on the envelopes. They were from Mike. And to my surprise they were pages and pages of writing. I learned more about him in those two letters than the entire time we saw each other face to face. Obviously I was swoony. He really wrote to me. He liked me.
He came home after boot camp and we saw each other several times before he left for school in Tennessee. He wasn't supposed to but he snuck away several weekends to see me. We officially started dating in November during Thanksgiving break. By Christmas we were a couple. He wrote letters and came to visit when he could. It was romantic and innocent. It was sweet. He finished school in TN and headed to ANOTHER school in California. He called but we didn't see each other obviously. The reality of how different our lives were hit. And then he told me he got orders for Japan. He asked me to marry him. I told him I didn't even have a drivers license that was just not going to happen. We ended up going our separate ways. We were just too young for something so big. He left for Japan and I finished High School.
I didn't stop thinking about him through the years. Whenever I saw a clunker Mustang driving around town I looked to see if he'd come back to visit. He never did. The year after I graduated High School I married a boy who took very good care of me. We were great friends. We enjoyed hanging out together. We just weren't in love the way a man and woman were meant to be. We played house because we both thought that was what we were supposed to do. We respected each other and in a lot of ways we did absolutely love each other. Our son was born in 1999.
In 2001 when the Twin Towers fell, I found myself worrying about the boy I once let go to the Marines. I wondered if he was still a Marine. Was he safe. Would he be okay. I day dreamed about how simple and innocent our love was. I still held him close to my heart. It may have been meant to be, that he was my true love, my soul mate...or the stress of being a grown up, a mom, a wife....I was 22. I pushed him out of my head just hoping for his safety.
My marriage finally started falling apart in 2002. By the summer I was back living at my moms house with my son and was separated from my husband. I was checking my email one night when I got a message from a site called Classmates.com. It said all my former class mates were waiting for me to join. So I did. As I was scrolling though I was sending messages to old friends and I came to his name. Michael Blum. He was registered. So I sent him a hello message. We sent a few back and forth. I told him I was married with a son. He said he was married too. I didn't mention that I was getting divorced until a few weeks later. He told me the truth was he was in the middle of a divorce too. The irony. His wife was from Japan. She went to visit her family and just never came back.
From that day we started up an online affair. Sending messages, emails, IMs. As often as we could. He invited me out to visit San Diego in August. I had never been on a plane or seen the ocean. I said yes. And it was the best week of my life. I never felt more comfortable or "home" than with him.
After I returned back to MO, my life went back to normal. The chaos, the divorce, the disapproval of my mother. The shame of feeling so happy talking to him when I was still technically married.
My divorce was supposed to be final in October of that year but my ex husband didn't or wouldn't take the required parenting class the State requires. So, it was pushed back to December. It was final on December 17 2002.
To celebrate Mike bought me a plane ticket to San Diego for New Years Day 2003. After I got there he said lets go to Vegas. I had never been. He said lets go get married. I laughed and reminded him I have technically only been divorced for two weeks! He was serious. I loved him with all my heart. I said lets do it. The whole drive to Vegas I went from being excited, to terrified, to nearly puking.
WHAT WERE WE DOING? No one is going to understand this. No one. But then, I realized that up until this point in life I have done exactly what I was told. I followed the rules. I want this. I need this.
We were married at the Little White Wedding Chapel at 12:02am January 4, 2003. We didn't stay long though. He wasn't supposed to leave a 50 mile radius of base. He was on call to leave for the Middle East. There were rumors that a war was going to happen. We were back to his apartment right at sunrise.
After we slept all day we met his friends for dinner at a local place. Mike casually mentioned "Hey we got married today." They all laughed . He said no really....
We just did that. The most insane thing either of us had ever done. And it felt good. It felt right. Two weeks later he was on a plane to Kuwait. The rumors about the war were true. I became a Marine Wife. He became a veteran of foreign war.
They say the first year of a marriage is the hardest. Well, yes and no. We never even argued once. He spent our honeymoon in Iraq. I spent it watching CNN. I didn't hear from him at all for 45 days. The longest stretch of no communication in ten years. When we finally did talk it was magical. He was safe. Until the next call.
I got hands on training. That's when I learned what it was going to take to make it in this lifestyle. If I can do this, anything else in life is a breeze.
Now, here we are three duty stations, four more deployments, two more kids and weeks from retirement. We did this.Ten years married. It feels like the blink of an eye. It all happened so fast. We are still like little kids though. I love him, I respect him, I admire his dedication to our country and the Marines but most of all I love the way I feel when he looks at me.
Here's to many more, love! Happy Anniversary.
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