The Space Between Dream and Reality

You know that weird thing that happens when you're sleeping and things that you are hearing somehow become part of your dream? The sound weaves it's self into your dream and becomes incorporated. When you wake up you're not really sure if it was a dream or if it really happened? It's a regular occurrence for me. This morning it came again and although I've been awake over an hour I'm still wondering.

Normally it comes in the form of a toilet flushing and in my dream I am using the rest room. Or the door bell rings and my brain turns that into a school bell so I am rushing to class. Sometimes the kids come and talk to me and our conversation becomes part of the dream. They have learned they can ask me for anything while I'm sleeping and I don't remember a thing about it after waking. Lucky them.

This time was different.

I fell asleep on the couch last night. Naturally Riley slept right next to me. Around daylight I heard her get up and go to the patio door. Her collar jingles. She also shakes her floppy dog ears when she wakes up. Total giveaway. Half asleep I obliged her and slid the door open for her morning business. I laid back down and within minutes she was done and right back by me...or actually as anyone knows her...ON me. She's a cuddler. I gave her a pet and began to doze.

It was not much longer that I heard a whisper. A hushed soothing tone. It was Mikes voice interacting with the dog. He was petting her and I felt her move with each stroke. He was telling her she was a good girl and asked for her paw. I felt him sit down. It didn't startle me. I'd heard him do the same thing with Lu a hundred times before. I didn't even open my eyes. I was in the between zone. Or I thought I was. I just laid there completely relaxed by his voice and listened. I was in the state of awareness but didn't say to myself "hey...he's been gone for two years. It can't be him."

I was awoken by a phone call at 7am about furniture delivery. After I hung up, I recalled earlier's events and it occurred to me...that couldn't have been Mike. Obviously. It freaked me out so much I went into the bedroom and woke Sean up to ask him if he'd been in the living room this morning. Maybe it was him and in my grog I mixed up the voices? He assured me he hadnt. He still had his cpap mask on so it wasnt him. It wasn't the kids. They were still knocked out in bed. Hmm...

I looked over at the sliding door. It was open. So I know I did get up and let her out. That much I know is true. That part really happened.

Still I sit here asking myself was it just a dream? I would have sworn different. I heard him. I felt the dog lean into him as he pet her. He didn't say anything to me. He didn't touch me. Just sat next to me and played with my dog. So puzzling. I've dreamt of him before but the dreams are so vivid. This was just...odd. insignificant but solid too.

Hopefully blogging it will get it out of my system. Send it out into the universe.

It was a dream but not a dream at the same time.

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