I Understand
I understand that the problems the children and I are encountering now after Mikes death are a direct result of the decisions he made before he died. With that being said, I don't fault him for our misfortune. Afterall, he was sick.
We didn't qualify for life insurance after he died. There was automatic coverage for 120 after retirement. He died on the 135th day. He did not elect to continue insurance. That's the answer the VA gave.
What the VA doesn't understand is the mindset of a man who is contemplating suicide isn't thinking rationally about responsible choices. Suicide is clearly not a great choice. That in itself should be an indicator. And of course I had no idea we needed to do it. Communication wasn't really easy at the end of his life.
His death was not ruled Service Connected because he was too proud or delusional to admit he had a problem...so there was no record he had a problem. He was never seen by a professional for his PTSD. He killed himself four months after retiring. Why else would someone do that? It seems to me to be common sense but again it was denied.
We did not receive post 911 education benefits transferred. Again, he didn't request it when he was alive and per VA policy they must be alive to consent. Again we were penalized twice. We lost him and were denied a benefit that could help me provide for my kids now that I am a single mother.
He did not get DIC because he never filed a disability claim. Priorities are amazing skewed in a deep state of depression.
Hes been dead for 16 months and we have gotten nothing but NO from every benefit I thought we'd rate. The VA did just send us $291.00 for a "Death Gratuity". This was a one time payment and it is based on income. Apparently, the social security and 975.00 a month pension means we are rolling in the dough here.
I have had an autoimmune disease since I was 30. I was sick long before Mike died. Witnessing his suicide caused me to also develop PTSD. My health is not great. Physically or mentally.
The truth is I am scared. I don't want sympathy. I want someone in a position to help to review the special circumstances and approve our claims. I don't want a hand out. I want benefits we are entitled to. I don't want to be rich, I just want to stop worrying how I will buy groceries.
I feel incredibly cheated. I am resentful but of no one in particular...just the situation. Im so tired. I could sleep for days...if I could ever fall asleep.
I wake up every day and make a choice to remain positive. I fight the feeling that I will just give up.
People look to me to be a positive light in a very dark situation so I do my best to put on a smile and comfort others first but im dying inside. The physical pain from the autoimmune disease combined with the emotional pain of losing Mike and being treated so poorly by the government is at times unbearable. Im at risk. I know I am.
No one hears me. Or if they do they don't care. Rules are rules. The decisions he made in a suicidal state should not affect our livelihood after hes died. When an elderly person with dementia makes some snap change to their will that is out of character the court recognizes it. When a severely depressed Marine ignores his responsibilities it goes complete unnoticed. The difference is the elderly person is using her money. The suicidal Marine is spending the governments money.
Will we make it? Will I make it? Can I hold on and do right by my kids? I pray I will. They have already lost so much.
Please pray for me.
We didn't qualify for life insurance after he died. There was automatic coverage for 120 after retirement. He died on the 135th day. He did not elect to continue insurance. That's the answer the VA gave.
What the VA doesn't understand is the mindset of a man who is contemplating suicide isn't thinking rationally about responsible choices. Suicide is clearly not a great choice. That in itself should be an indicator. And of course I had no idea we needed to do it. Communication wasn't really easy at the end of his life.
His death was not ruled Service Connected because he was too proud or delusional to admit he had a problem...so there was no record he had a problem. He was never seen by a professional for his PTSD. He killed himself four months after retiring. Why else would someone do that? It seems to me to be common sense but again it was denied.
We did not receive post 911 education benefits transferred. Again, he didn't request it when he was alive and per VA policy they must be alive to consent. Again we were penalized twice. We lost him and were denied a benefit that could help me provide for my kids now that I am a single mother.
He did not get DIC because he never filed a disability claim. Priorities are amazing skewed in a deep state of depression.
Hes been dead for 16 months and we have gotten nothing but NO from every benefit I thought we'd rate. The VA did just send us $291.00 for a "Death Gratuity". This was a one time payment and it is based on income. Apparently, the social security and 975.00 a month pension means we are rolling in the dough here.
I have had an autoimmune disease since I was 30. I was sick long before Mike died. Witnessing his suicide caused me to also develop PTSD. My health is not great. Physically or mentally.
The truth is I am scared. I don't want sympathy. I want someone in a position to help to review the special circumstances and approve our claims. I don't want a hand out. I want benefits we are entitled to. I don't want to be rich, I just want to stop worrying how I will buy groceries.
I feel incredibly cheated. I am resentful but of no one in particular...just the situation. Im so tired. I could sleep for days...if I could ever fall asleep.
I wake up every day and make a choice to remain positive. I fight the feeling that I will just give up.
People look to me to be a positive light in a very dark situation so I do my best to put on a smile and comfort others first but im dying inside. The physical pain from the autoimmune disease combined with the emotional pain of losing Mike and being treated so poorly by the government is at times unbearable. Im at risk. I know I am.
No one hears me. Or if they do they don't care. Rules are rules. The decisions he made in a suicidal state should not affect our livelihood after hes died. When an elderly person with dementia makes some snap change to their will that is out of character the court recognizes it. When a severely depressed Marine ignores his responsibilities it goes complete unnoticed. The difference is the elderly person is using her money. The suicidal Marine is spending the governments money.
Will we make it? Will I make it? Can I hold on and do right by my kids? I pray I will. They have already lost so much.
Please pray for me.
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