Holidays are STESSFUL.

It's difficult getting through the holiday season when you have an empty space  at your table and in your heart. It's even more stressful when you're a single parent and your late husband's family has disowned you.

I have to literally stop myself from going into wallow mode this time of year. I just wrapped the kids Christmas gifts. It's not going to be like the years before. I got them things on their list but not the bigger requests because I cannot afford them. Tj wanted a ps4 400 bucks, Kira wanted an American girl doll $200. Surprisingly Mason didn't ask for anything too big but I still feel sad. I spent every dime I could and still manage to fund Mason's birthday party in two weeks.  Oh...and eat.

This is on top of knowing what the kids really want is their dad and I can't give them that either. Saturday night Kira was crying for her dad. It broke my heart. All I could say was I miss him too. What can you say?

As I was finishing up the gift wrapping and wondering if the kids are going to be totally disappointed on Christmas Day....I bent over and my glasses fell off my face and onto the concrete...the left side busted and the lense rolled across the floor.

....Super. I can totally afford glasses right now. But not really. Instead I'm trying to superglue them until next month. Yay a birthday gift for myself. An eye examine and glasses. I was doing to treat myself to a cut and color but it is what it is.

Please God give me the strength and courage to make it through this, not just the holiday season.

I just want to cry but I don't have time. Now I must go pick up the kids from school...

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