I'm Thankful

Since we are leaving for our holiday trip soon I will get a jump on my Thanksgiving entry.

Despite such great sorrow experienced in our life the past 14 months I am very thankful, some might be surprised by that. I have so much to be grateful for:

*I have three smart beautiful funny healthy strong loving kids.

*My belly is full and the roof over my head is warm.

*I have a very supportive partner who is patient and kind and shares in my grief. He loves my kids like they're his own. Their relationship is beautiful.

*I have two adorable but stinky dogs who love me.

*I have the best friends anyone could hope for.

*We live in such a beautiful place.

*I had the honor of spending 11 years of my life with my late husband. The good times outweighed the bad. The memories will last a lifetime.

I miss so many things about him. He was with woodworking the way I'm with sewing. I'd just give him an idea and he'd have it done by the end if the day. We did so many projects together. Working in the garage with the music turned up..it's what we loved. I miss the way he smiled at Kira. It was different than his normal smile. I know when he looked at her he knew love.

I am thankful for our marriage. In that time I learned what  unconditional love really was. I learned the true meaning of "in sickness and health, til death do us part". I know that if I ever do marry again the lessons I learned with him will make me a better wife. Our marriage taught me what it takes to commit 100%.

Although I wish it had never happened through Mikes loss I have become closer to God. My faith has strengthened.

I have done my best to make something good come from such great pain. I still have my sense of humor. That's something I am thankful to have held onto.

I'm thankful I'm alive. I'm thankful God gave me the strength to make it through this. Our life has changed completely and although we lost so much we can still smile. That alone is invaluable.

I am always going to have moments when I cry myself to sleep. I have accepted that but the reason the pain is so deep is that the love was even deeper. I'm am thankful for getting that chance. One day the span of our marriage will feel like the blink of an eye. But I had a life in that blink. I was given a great gift, even though it was far to brief.

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