Wallpaper and Scabs


After being a parent for almost 12 years I have learned a few things. 1)Never buy anything nice. 2) Any body fluid or excrement can double as paint. 3) Wallpaper is like a scab to a child.

I have three kids and a fondness for border wallpaper. These things do not mesh. I have tried to use border paper in various rooms, in various homes and at various stages in my children's lives. It always starts out fine. For the most part anyway. But God forbid it begin to peel at any corner within reach. They cannot resist the urge to pick at it like a scab. Scabs are small. And if you pick at them sometimes they will bleed. Blood will stop a kid from picking. Wallpaper doesn't bleed. Its defenseless. Just sits there quite on the wall looking all pretty. What did the wall paper ever do to you, kid? Nothing. Thats right. Do you hear that? Its the sound of your mothers heart breaking.

If you want to save some money and heartache just skip wall paper and buy your kids mittens. Secure it with duct tape. Sure, they may have delayed sensory development but its worth it.

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