A massage with no happy ending

I went to the Happiness outside the back gate last night. It took TWO HOURS to fill my nails. It has never taken that long to even do a full set but about half way through she asked me if I wanted a massage. I decided to go ahead and try it. It was 10 bucks for 15 minutes. She called back to whoever did it. The little man appeared. I have seen him there every time but never saw him do anything but sit around. I knew the moment he laid his hands on me it was not going to be so relaxing. The massage started off with the Vulcan death pinch and went straight into various nerve damaging techniques. I am pretty sure at one point I went blind for a few seconds. It was as if he was trying to aerate my back or poke holes into my internal organs. It didn't stop at my shoulders..OH NO! He began kneading my arm fat. I felt like he was trying to make clay animals out of it. After arts and crafts he moved up to my head. He actually poked me in the eye with one move, causing my contact to shift. There was a noogie following. The grand finale was him knocking on my head as to check a melon for freshness. I looked around. I was convinced I was on Kandid Camera. No one looked suspicious. If this massage had a happy ending it was when he tapped my shoulder and said "thank you". I dunno if I felt more relieved or violated. He disappeared. I now know what gift to purchase for people who piss me off. 15 minutes with him ought to do the trick. Be scared. If you get this from me...re-evaluate our relationship.

Comments

  1. Tripleaspa.caJanuary 14, 2013 at 2:00 AM

    This Blog is really informative for us which provides lot of information about Happy Ending Massage in Ottawa. Thank you so much for awesome idea!
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    ReplyDelete

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