Crushed

It all started with a phone call last week. A women who claimed to be a recruiter for my son's college called not me but my SISTER and requested that I not accompany him to his college meeting the next week. Because they got his scholarship based on his being solely financially in the care of his grandparents. Also, if I could stop posting to him and about him on social media because it would make her "look like a liar" when they saw he had a mother in his life. My sister bawled when she tried to relay this to me the night before his graduation ceremony. I was so confused. I asked to speak to the recruiter immediately. It turned out it wasn't a recruiter at all. She wasn't even affiliated with the school. She was actually my son's girlfriends mother. I explained to her that his grandparents were NOT solely responsible. He has two employed parents who are. He's in the temporary guardianship of his grandparents while he finished high school. I have joint custody with his father. Furthermore I fought for two long years to ensure my kids education was secured with the VA. What she planned to do WAS a lie and was unnecessary and no one consulted me. If they did all of this could have been avoided. She said snidely that she was positive what she was going to get him her way was going to be far more than what I could do with the VA and if I really cared about my son I'd just do what she says. It was clear to me that her impression of our situation was completely colored by whatever bullshit she's been fed by my ex husband's parents. She was rude and hung up on me. Turns out I wasn't the only one who didn't know the plan they had concocted. My ex husband wasn't told either. They did this without even letting us know. My son was frantic at this point. all he wanted to do was go to school and play volleyball. He was willing to do or say anything to achieve his dream. If I allowed this to happen I was encouraging him to be dishonest but also, it would forfeit the VA funding I fought so hard for him to have. If they went off my former in laws income for scholarships, fafsa, grants that meant his father and I couldn't contribute. We were erased from the equation completely. Then the huge knock down drag out with his grandparents came. The ugly words she said. It occurred to me, that's why his girlfriends mom was so cold and so cruel. She's been lied to herself.

I will not ever stop talking about my kid IN PERSON OR ON SOCIAL MEDIA. I will never stop being his mother. His grandparents had him for three years. I had him for 15. I grew him inside me. I am the person who got him into sports, I was the soccer team mom for 10 years. Was at every game. Was at every IEP meeting, took him to the specialists, found ways to help him succeed, pushed him to keep on when he wanted to quit. I was the one who held him when he came home from school in tears because kids are mean. I paid for every flight to and from STL so he had a relationship with them. He was my only child that was actually planned. His father and I did not consent to any of this. I APPRECIATE ALL WHO HAVE HELPED HIM ALONG BUT HE IS MINE AND I WILL NEVER PRETEND HE'S NOT!  Turns out his girlfriend is planning on going to that college. That's why her mom was so helpful. It wasn't for him as much as so her daughter can have her boyfriend along. I support my kid if this is what he wants. But for his education not to play match maker. I had to get that out....

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