#TIFFREINA

On Veteran's Day I was sent a screen shot of a vile Facebook status posted under the name Tiff Reina. I have attached it here to help you understand my concern. I was not mad. I was hurt. I took it quite personally because my husband was a Marine. He did have PTSD and he did "put a bullet in his head". I couldn't understand how the presidential election, veterans with PTSD and the mocking of mental illness could be both connected and evoke so much rage. I posted the screen shot on twitter and it's as close to viral as anything I've ever shared. The response was so much that the notifications drained the battery of my cell phone.

After I picked my jaw from the floor I began to recognize why I couldn't make sense of it. It's because I have seen this disjointed incoherent rambling before. It's very similar to someone who personally struggling with their own mental health. After that it was very easy to forgive her. I don't fault people with mental illness who say things they do not understand and no not control. It's not coming from a rational part of their brain. I treat mental illness the way I treat any other illness. It's a legitimate condition and deserving of respect. I hold no judgment, any more than I'd fault a diabetic for having a sugar dip and fainting. "Poking fun" of a person suffering mental illness is no different ro me that laughing at the diabetic who lost consciousness. It's not funny to me. I don't feel anger or rage. I have compassion. Although the words they said cut so deeply I don't hold a grudge. I just can't.  You can be hurt and acknowledge that pain without being reactionary. That's the road I chose. Because I don't know for a fact that this person is I'll or just hateful I gave them the benefit of the doubt. Either way it felt like the right thing to do. If they are full of rage maybe no one gave them forgiveness and kindness before? Perhaps my small offer of light will help calm that intense anger.

I found out a few days later that this Tiff Reina attended a Christian University and thought how ironic that the words she posted were the least Christian I'd heard in a very long time. I decided to write the school and ask if they were aware of the situation and that their school is now synonymous with such non Christian sentiments. I was surprised how fast I recieved a reply. It was about 8PM Pacific  time and the college is on the other side of the country. It was nearly 11PM there.

I will share with you the cliffs notes of the very thoughtful and helpful reply. The school is aware of the posting. Both a criminal and academic investigation have been ongoing since and it appears as the social media account was in some way "hacked". The investigation is still active and they are monitoring social media on campus in an effort to locate the actual poster. They apologized for the pain in caused my family and thanked us for my late husband's service. They insisted that their school is "military friendly" and any such hate speech is not tolerated and a violation of the code of conduct they are bound to.

So the bottom line is they have determined that Tiff Reina is not the actual user who shared such dangerous thoughts. Apparently she IS a real person and attends the school though. My thoughts went immediately to how incredibly hard it must be to be hated by so many people you don't even know for something you didn't even say. I just felt terrible for her. If that is true she must be just broken by this.

I decided the best way to approach this from here was to offer my services as a public or small group speaker about PTSD, veteran suicide and surviving. They've determined that she personally did not say it but someone there has. Since I don't know who I think it's best to address them all with compassion, understanding and education on a topic that is misunderstood by one or many in the student body.  That is the Christian thing to do.

I have posted on social media that the account was hacked but I fear the damage has been done. I hope this poor girl can reclaim her reputation and is treated kindly. I know the world does not work this way and it's so much easier to hate than to try and understand by at least from me she will get an apology. I'm sorry you are going through this. It's not your fault. Social media is a blessing and a curse.

You can turn a negative into a positive. You don't even have to do math. Just do the right thing.