It's NOT a "Choice"

Twice today I have been told something along the lines of " suicide is the most selfish act imaginable". I understand why a person may think that but I disagree and I have been teaching my kids otherwise. I will tell you why:

A person who is suicidal is unable to think rationally. They really honestly and truly believe life would be better without them around. We know that's not true but we aren't the ones who are sick. And that's exactly what I've taught my kids. Their dad didn't make a conscious selfish choice. He felt he had no other choice. He didn't abandon them. I believe that whole heartedly. I don't believe people who are contemplating suicide have the reasoning and rationally required to be selfish. 

When you take that factor out of the equation there is no resentment, only empathy for the person no longer with us. I'm not angry, I am doing my best to raise his children to not be angry but instead to understand the deep depression as an illness no different than cancer. The depression he experienced was like a cancer to his soul...slowing eating it away. We wish he could still be here but we know his pain has ended. He's no longer fighting a battle inside himself. 

We would be selfish to demand he stay longer as he slowly died from the inside out. I've accepted the reality of what's become of our life. We cherish the memories and work hard in our recovery and rebuilding our new life. I will never call him selfish.

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