Finally Sunshine!

Well, I sorta met someone. Someone who makes me want to make solid plans for the future. He makes me feel alive, and happy and content in my heart. He feels like "home" to me.

I've dated a few boys since Mike passed away but it was mostly to fill my free time and distract me from missing my husband. This one feels completely different. I don't want to run away from him. I want to run straight to him. This is amazing.

He was really there all along. I just didn't notice him...

When Mike died I was inundated with sympathy messages on Facebook. I did my best to say thank you to all of them. I got a message from Sean. He said he had known Mike since school in Tennessee. Mike used to drive home from Tennessee to visit me on the weekends. 

He told me that he attended the retirement seminar with Mike and they spoke about the stresses both were facing and had survived. At first he was a connection to Mike. I listened to his stories. I soaked in the connection. 

As time went on it became less about Mike and more about us. We have similar beliefs and ideas. We have so much in common. I started thinking about him more everyday. I looked forward to his calls and was sad when we didn't get to talk. I sorta fell in love quietly. 

I spent last week in San Diego for my 35 birthday and with him. It was one of the most profound, magical, meaningful weeks of my life.

He just gets me. I get him. We work so well together. We make each other smile. He holds my hand and opens doors. He makes me feel safe and beautiful. I catch him staring at me. I trust him like I never thought I could again. He trusts me. We share our hopes and dreams, our fears and problems. He makes me feel hopeful.
I can say with absolute certainty that I am head over heels in love with him. I have no idea where it will go from here but I want to find out.

 Love still exists. My ability to love, trust, grow did not die with Michael...perhaps having lived through it has made me capable of loving, trusting, growing even more than I had before.

I hope so because he could be a permanent part of my beautiful life...

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