Christmas Blows

The only thing keeping me going now are my kids. I'm drowning in the sadness and grief of his loss. I want to let go and surrender to the darkness. My heart literally aches.
I go through the motions everyday. I'm here but I'm gone. 
My fear is that I will never feel the love we had. No one will love me the way he did. I can never give myself to another man. 
I'm dating, I'm trying...it just doesn't feel the way it did. I was robbed of my one true love. He was not perfect but he knew how to love me. As a matter of fact he once gave me a Tim McGraw song that describe it.


It's Christmas. I want to be with him. I want him to hold me and tell me we will make it through this....I'm alone. So empty. 

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