Loss of Life

When he died it wasn't just the loss of his physical life it was the death of our life as we knew it. I am learning this more as time goes on and the reality sinks in.

I was speaking to a friend this evening and he mentioned he bought an older house. I said that was a goal that Mike and I had before he died. We wanted to buy an old run down house and completely rehab it ourselves. We had all if these plans...ideas...dreams. 

When he died so did all of those dreams. All of the vacations we planned taking the kids on, places we were going to travel. He was supposed to take me to Ireland.

We were supposed to have a recommitment ceremony after he retired since we ran away to Vegas all those years ago. We wanted all our friends and family around to celebrate with us.

I've accepted that he's gone. I now have to make peace with the fact that all our dreams must be let go too. I have to make my own way, goals and dreams. I am not the same person I was two months ago. 

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