Did He Let Me?

Today after school Kira was helping with yardwork. We planted some flowers. She helped me rake up leaves. We both really enjoy doing gardening together.
We chat a lot while working and one if her questions really got me. It was "Did Daddy ever let you mow the grass?"

....I just sorta stopped. Did he LET ME? It was a moment I thought would never happen. The first and maybe only positive change since losing him a year ago. At tge end of his life he really had to control everything in our life. We had to get permission to do ANYTHING. It was part of his illness and we got used to living this way.

It was so clear, the difference. No one LETS me do anything. I am glad for that. I hope she grows to never give anyone that power.  Life has changed.  I will never allow that to be taken from us again.

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