Drop Dead Fred

Or Friedrich Nietzsche, whatever.

I have a bone to pick with him. This quote mostly "“When a woman has scholarly inclinations there is usually something wrong with her sexuality” Really? Its in all of the "Most important quotes' lists and websites.

Since hes dead I will just go ahead and list my grievance here. I would like to add a quote to the list. Here is my submission "Go Fuck yourself Freddy!' Oh, maybe if you had fucked yourself you wouldn't have contracted and died from Syphilis. Just sayin'.

For the most part I think his writing is total BS. I guess if my father and brother died when I was young I would be mad at God too. Its really easy to challenge your faith in those situations.

He never married or had a relationship. He lived with his mother. Hes quoted as saying his best accomplishment was a friendship with another man.

I think he would have done a lot less thinking and questioning morality, religion and life if he'd just admitted the truth...he was gay.

When he went crazy he was found hugging a horse....and yet smart girls have sexuality issues? You heard that straight from the horses mouth! Neigh, bitch!

He said"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”" Maybe he goes both ways. Or would have really like Burger King. Have it your way Fred!

“To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task”

A sexually transmitted disease will do that. So will giving a girl a frog wrapped in a bloody hanky. Freak show.

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”

You would totally know because you were married, right? No.

“After coming into contact with a religious man I always feel I must wash my hands”

How about after the one man week long masturbation parties you allegedly threw yourself? It might be a good idea.

“All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking”
Who had time to walk with all that self loving? Or is that code for something...

“One ought to hold on to one's heart; for if one lets it go, one soon loses control of the head too.”
Or penis and mental function.

“You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.”
He wants to be a drag queen or my other thought is "I dont give a sparkly shit."

“Man wishes woman to be peaceable, but in fact she is essentially warlike, like the cat.”
Of all the animals who are war like he picks a cat? Is this more code related to vagina?

“Christianity makes suffering contagious”
Unprotected sex with wounded soldiers will do that too. Hindsight, right?!

“Only strong personalities can endure history, the weak ones are extinguished by it”
Coming from someone who was physically weak I am not surprised.

“Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.”
I can see why you are such a profound writer. Makes perfect sense


One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth.”One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth.”
That finally explains the hideous mustache! Or grimace curtain.

“Gods too decompose. God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him.”
Trent Reznor made a KILLING in the 90s. He says thanks.

“If a woman seeks education it is probably because her sexual apparatus is malfunctioning”

My sexual apparatus is finely tuned, modified for fun only-- and I like books and junk. Ones with no pictures and big words.

“Under peaceful conditions the militant man attacks himself.”

Yeah, we've heard the stories. See above.

“We are franker towards others than towards ourselves”

No Shit. If you would have just admitted it you could have saved 101 books worth of paper.

"It is through being wounded that power grows and can, in the end, become tremendous”
Of course, you fell off a horse. I guess you would ponder that.

“When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.”

But dont use big words girls. Men like you dumb and with your sexual apparatus in the air.

“The doer alone learneth.”
We get it. You like to do it alone.

“If a man wishes to rid himself of a feeling of unbearable oppression, he may have to take hashish.”
I think Cheech, Chong and Nietzsche would have some ahhmazing conversation in that hashcloud. Freds moms going to the market tomorrow. You can use his basement.

Smoking a lot of pot would explain your ramblings.

But I am just a girl. I will go hug a horse and give it some thought.


PS, I God were dead and Freddy killed him I would check in that brilliant mustache. I bet you'd probably find God, a few gummy bears, pocket lint 15 cents his sense of humor and a frog wrapped in a bloody handkerchief.


***My disclaimer***This was just a joke. I dont think he's gay or really had syphilis. I think he was crazy. In my opinion the fall from the horse triggered it and the horse hugging was the curtain call.