And I guess...

While I was out on a long walk with the kids tonight I had a chance to think. Sometimes its dangerous but tonight I think it was positive and really helpful.

I don't think there is any excuse for the behavior you've had. Going to the police and saying I am harassing you, or that you fear for your life is ridiculous. I know why you made up the stories about me and others. Its because deep inside you really hate yourself. You have no real reason to dislike us but its not good enough to just dislike us. You need others to like you more. I get why you do it and you do too. We talked about it for hours while you were here. You know you have these destructive behaviors but you cannot or will not stop it. This is probably why you think I lack empathy. I really don't understand not wanting to help myself, to heal to want a better life.

I forgive you. I don't like you, I dont want to be friends but I forgive you. I dont care to hold on to such anger. Its a waste of my time and energy.

I totally get why you might think I am a narcissist or I am in love with your husband. I have a high self esteem and lets face it your husband lied about pretty much everything. With the information you gathered and what you were told I would probably think the same thing.

It was your husband who didn't tell you about asking me to invite you, your husband who didn't tell you how often we talked. My husband knew. I dont know why he didn't tell you. I cant presume to know what made him withhold it. I asked him in the past if you knew and he said yes.

In this mess, I lost someone who I thought was a close friend and that sucks but you lost the trust you have in your spouse. I think you are far worse off than me.

When I said get professional help, that wasnt an insult. I really think you should. Its unfortunate that life has to be this hard for you. It sucks that we all had to be brought into it but for the rest of us, this will pass and life will go back to normal. This your life, your every day. The reality in which you choose to reside.

Stop blaming us and help yourself.

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