HIRE ME

When Mike died just four months after retiring I had finally reentered the workforce after staying at home with the kids for 7 years. They were all officially in school and I was excited to work outside the home. I worked as a warranty administrator in the finance field. The pay was decent and I got to get back into the swing of employment after such a long break as a stay at home mom. I began to really love my job and the people I worked with. It was nice to be useful agwin.

When Mike died I had only been employed with the company for three months. They were very understanding and sympathetic of our loss. I tried to go back to work two weeks later and didn't last the day. I spoke with the manager and he said to take as much time as needed. I wanted to be there. I needed to be there but my head was in such a fog. My anxiety was through the roof. I found out two weeks later I had PTSD from the event. I was very honest with my boss.  She thanked me for keeping her updated.

Before October was over I recieved a package from work. I opened it to find all the items from in and on my desk. I immediately called my boss. I didn't understand. I was in tears. At first she said she thought I might need those things so she sent them...but by the end of the conversation she said she didn't think my ptsd was going to work in such a high stress and demanding position. I...was...stunned.

I was told to take the time, I was thanked for the updates, I was looking forward to going back to work and trying to get a routine again.

I got fired because my husband died? I told her she didn't understand I needed this job. It was all I had. She apologized and wished me luck.

I finally broke down. How was I going to support my family?

I began to believe what she said. Maybe my condition WOULD prevent me from working? Maybe she saw something I didnt?

I managed to survive the Marine Corps lifestyle.  I managed to survive my husband's untimely and tragic death, I managed to become a single mom again. How can I not manage a job? How can I provide for my family if I don't work?

I let that statement, her opinion run my head for a year and a half. I was at the lowest point in my life and she kicked my while I was down. I am over it. I'm going back to work...well that is...if someone will hire me.  She may think I'm not strong enough but I say JUST WATCH ME. It's up to me solely to make a good life for my kids. If I don't no one else will. I will teach them that life can go on. You can succeed in the face of tragedy.

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