Raising Confident Girls

One of the main focuses of why I do what I do is to help foster confidence in girls of all ages. In my opinion self confidence is just as important as all other fundamental building blocks in a young girl. If they are not taught to love themselves, how can they ever expect it from others? When you don't learn this step in childhood it opens the door for so many problems in puberty and later in life.

I was approached recently about what "type" of girl I look for to model my creations and I was a little taken back. There is no special "type" of little girl. All little girls are beautiful and all should be able to tell you without skipping a beat. There are such stereotypical signals sent to girls, in the media and society. You must be thin, you must bee seen and not heard. Girls don't have opinions they just look pretty. Just turn on TV for five minutes.

Dont let the media teach your daughters the art of being a woman. Start young and remind them every day. If they have the goods before they are exposed to society it wont matter what they see or hear, because they just know their worth.

My daughter is three. If you ask her who the smartest, funniest, silliest most beautiful girl in the whole wide world...the answer is KIRA! When she has her hair done (when she lets me do her hair! Shes a free spirit and would prefer it not even be brushed!) she says to me "Oh, lets go show the mirror!" And I have never once corrected her because liking the way you look is not a crime. It makes me so proud that when she looks in the mirror she sees nothing but good things.

Its not just about appearance but almost all girls at some point complain about a body part. It is very rare that a woman is completely satisfied with herself. I hope that by the time my daughter gets to be a woman she will know, its fine to want to change or improve yourself but that means you must MAKE changes, not just wallow in self pity and loathing. If you dont like it, change it and know that you CAN. And love yourself for being committed to making the change.

Also, girls CAN be smart and pretty. You don't have to pick one or the other. Whoever came up with that was probably a man. I think its maybe an old notion that if your daughter is pretty she does not need to focus so much on education, shes find a husband. Or if your daughter is not necessarily "beautiful" hand her a book...shes be a doctor. This is ridiculous. You can be both or neither. As long as you love yourself.

Finally...yes, boys...GIRLS are capable of having a sense of humor. Maybe even being funnier than you. I have been told more than once that I am "too pretty to be as funny as I am" after meeting people IRL I met on the internet. I am not sure what the means but just like being smart, pretty girls can be funny.

I was not given these tools as a child and I suffered. There is nothing more fragile or important than telling a child how wonderful they are regularly. Its not conceited, its confidence. Exaggerated self importance only seems bad if you don't have it too.

There are two key ingredients i think are important in raising confident girls, a strong female role model ie a Mom who loves herself. A mom who can compliment herself and others.

And the other is the love, affection and admiration of a father or male role model. If she feels that love, that bond she will never settle for anything less later in her life. I am sure some feminists are biting their thumbs at me but, I stand by this theory. I have worked with a great deal of women and girls and its a common bond with all of them.

So love your babies, tell your girls they ARE wonderful.

Did I mention I have two sons, but...that is a different story entirely. We'll touch on that a different day.