Irony...It's in There.

I haven't been on my blog in so long. When I left off I thought all I could say was said. That was my first mistake...

I have always prided myself on being transparent. For me and for you. I'm telling you this because I am not able to share details about some of the events in my life since last meeting. That is hard for me but it is to protect innocence.

I will say this much: Sean and I are no longer engaged and I am in no way affiliated with him.

Last year in May, I got the most devastating news. In June, got worse. And shit just rolled down from there.

I can't tell you what's happened but I can tell you it's been the hardest thing since losing Mike. And the betrayal felt bigger. I cried for three months straight. Just sat on my patio and cried. Woke up crying. Fell asleep crying. It gutted me. It consumed me. Swallowed me whole.

By October my kids and I loaded up just what we could fit in the car and headed back to my hometown in Missouri.

For a decade my blog address was mobile manor mama. Paying homage to the days when I was one and to the saying "you can take a girl out of the trailer park but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl!" I was so far away from those days in time and distance. It was tongue in cheek.

Welp,...I'm literally back in the very same trailer park I started in! I see what happened there. Good one! Touche!

But, my kids and I are safe and healthy and working on becoming happy again.  It's going to be a long road to recovery for all of us. For me? Emotionally, financially, spiritually. In all areas.

I'm starting over. Again. I guess maybe I do have some stuff we should talk about? I figured this Coronavirus quarantine is a great time to start.  The view has changed and so has my perspective in life. I am grateful for what I do have. I focus on that. I try to let go of my anger every day. I will keep trying until it's gone. I don't want to stay mad.

I still feel like we were punished for something we had no control over. I feel like we were robbed of so many things. I hope that fades in time. I hope my kids forgive me for making them move so far away from everything they know. They really blame me right now and that sucks.

More about that later.


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