Terrifying Dream
Have you ever had a dream so vivid and so terrifying it took a while after you woke up to convince yourself it didn't actually happen?
At 4:12 am I woke in a panic. I felt my body for wounds and the moisture I first thought was blood from being shot was actually sweat that had soaked the length of my back. I jumped our of bed to make sure I could still walk.
In my dream I was in an open court yard of a structure, Two stories surrounding me. It reminded me of the pool area from the show Melrose Place. A show I watched 20 years ago. Weird but that's what I thought. I was walking toward one side of the apartment or motel...what ever it was...
When suddenly a huge commotion came on all side of me. Doors banging open and swat team members coming out of all the dark corners. I looked up to the second floor balcony and literally saw bullets flying through the air. I heard many loud voices screaming "Freeze! HANDS UP!" I knew I had to get myself out of thecross fire. I turned my back to gunfire and there was no where to go. I could feel the burning pinch of the bullets entering my lower back. I did not freeze or put my hands up but I didn't know why until I looked down. There was a baby, a toddler in my arms. I don't know who's baby it was or where it came from. But that baby looked directly into my eyes and I said "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry" because I could not keep running and there was nowhere to go. My feet would no longer go forward. Just then I heard a police officer very close repeat the commands to "freeze". I realized he was talking to ME! Everything stood still. I could hear the officer breathing. Exhaling deeply as if he were calming himself down from his adrenaline being so high and being startled himself.
And then I woke up.
I have no idea where this scenario came from or why I'd be running from police with a child I didn't recognize but it was as real right now as in that moment.
I was clearly trying to protect that child from harm but looking back I wonder if in the dream I was kidnapping the kid? Why were police after me? Was I just in the wrong place at the wrong time? The fact that I didn't freeze or put my hands up was suspicious to the officers, clearly. But I couldn't because I would have dropped the baby.
I have tried to figure out what the dream represented or symbolized because I have had very vivd dreams surrounding the night Mike died but Mike wasnt in the dream, nor were my children as usual. It had nothing to do with his suicide.
It will haunt me for awhile.
At 4:12 am I woke in a panic. I felt my body for wounds and the moisture I first thought was blood from being shot was actually sweat that had soaked the length of my back. I jumped our of bed to make sure I could still walk.
In my dream I was in an open court yard of a structure, Two stories surrounding me. It reminded me of the pool area from the show Melrose Place. A show I watched 20 years ago. Weird but that's what I thought. I was walking toward one side of the apartment or motel...what ever it was...
When suddenly a huge commotion came on all side of me. Doors banging open and swat team members coming out of all the dark corners. I looked up to the second floor balcony and literally saw bullets flying through the air. I heard many loud voices screaming "Freeze! HANDS UP!" I knew I had to get myself out of thecross fire. I turned my back to gunfire and there was no where to go. I could feel the burning pinch of the bullets entering my lower back. I did not freeze or put my hands up but I didn't know why until I looked down. There was a baby, a toddler in my arms. I don't know who's baby it was or where it came from. But that baby looked directly into my eyes and I said "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry" because I could not keep running and there was nowhere to go. My feet would no longer go forward. Just then I heard a police officer very close repeat the commands to "freeze". I realized he was talking to ME! Everything stood still. I could hear the officer breathing. Exhaling deeply as if he were calming himself down from his adrenaline being so high and being startled himself.
And then I woke up.
I have no idea where this scenario came from or why I'd be running from police with a child I didn't recognize but it was as real right now as in that moment.
I was clearly trying to protect that child from harm but looking back I wonder if in the dream I was kidnapping the kid? Why were police after me? Was I just in the wrong place at the wrong time? The fact that I didn't freeze or put my hands up was suspicious to the officers, clearly. But I couldn't because I would have dropped the baby.
I have tried to figure out what the dream represented or symbolized because I have had very vivd dreams surrounding the night Mike died but Mike wasnt in the dream, nor were my children as usual. It had nothing to do with his suicide.
It will haunt me for awhile.
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