What Teenage Girls Should Know
Dear loved teenage girl in my life,
There is something I want to share with you. Recently I got some new that disappointed me but mostly scared the hell out of me. It brought back memories of when I was 15 and in your shoes. I dont want to yell at you but I want you to understand why I am so concerned. I want you to listen to my experience and know it is a cautionary tale. I was an average 15 year old girl as you are today. It is so common to struggle with the temptations in life at your age, you dont know if you are a woman or a girl. You want to just hurry up and be an adult. But the fact is you are not. You are not emotionally capable of acting like an adult. No one expects you to. But at the same time I do want you to make the best choices you can so you will make it to adulthood to have the choices. Drinking is an all around bad idea at your age. Not just because I said so but because I had to learn the hard way. Let me explain...
When I was 15 I met a boy who was 22. He hung out with my neighbors and I admired him. He was older, had a car and seemed so "cool". I liked talking to him. I liked the attention he gave me. I felt special because I couldnt even drive a car yet and this guy was interested in me!
One night he bought some liquor and we sat on the side of my house and got drunk. Really drunk. So drunk that I dont remember much of anything after one point. Even though we were drinking on the side of my house somehow I woke in his bed across town. I was in and out of consciousness all night. I remember him being on top of me and not knowing how I even got there. The next morning when I woke up reality hit that I had just spent the night with a man who I honestly didnt even know. I didnt know his last name or where I was, how I got there? He wasnt a boy, he was an adult. Then it hit me that my mother didnt even know where I was, I didnt remember telling her I was even leaving the yard.
I couldnt even look this guy in the eyes, as I was so ashamed and embarrassed. What had I done? I felt like a total whore. I didnt remember anything. My mom was going to kill me and I was a total whore.
He kept asking me what was wrong on the ride home. I was quiet, terrified, embarrassed. I wasnt sure if this was normal for adults to black out and wake up in a strangers bed. I kept my head down and couldnt get out of the car fast enough.
What I didnt know then is this is date rape. Not only that but because of the age difference it was statutory date rape. I was so mortified with what I had done I accepted his request to be his girlfriend. I thought if I was his girlfriend it would be less disgusting that I had just blacked out and spent the night with him. I dated him from my freshman-senior year of high school.
That was the beginning to a very abusive relationship and it all started with a few beers.
So my point is, what seems like a harmless night of experimenting with alcohol can lead to a chain reaction of very bad choices.
If that does not sink in, you should also know that I was a year older than you when my best friend was killed drunk driving. She never made it to adulthood. Please trust me when I say there is plenty of time in life to drink. Please wait. Not for me, for you.
If you ever have any questions and concerns about these things I will always be here. Learn from my mistakes and experiences. I would hate for you to learn these things first hand. Enjoy high school. Its so short and is over before you know it. It will be some of the best times of your life!
There is something I want to share with you. Recently I got some new that disappointed me but mostly scared the hell out of me. It brought back memories of when I was 15 and in your shoes. I dont want to yell at you but I want you to understand why I am so concerned. I want you to listen to my experience and know it is a cautionary tale. I was an average 15 year old girl as you are today. It is so common to struggle with the temptations in life at your age, you dont know if you are a woman or a girl. You want to just hurry up and be an adult. But the fact is you are not. You are not emotionally capable of acting like an adult. No one expects you to. But at the same time I do want you to make the best choices you can so you will make it to adulthood to have the choices. Drinking is an all around bad idea at your age. Not just because I said so but because I had to learn the hard way. Let me explain...
When I was 15 I met a boy who was 22. He hung out with my neighbors and I admired him. He was older, had a car and seemed so "cool". I liked talking to him. I liked the attention he gave me. I felt special because I couldnt even drive a car yet and this guy was interested in me!
One night he bought some liquor and we sat on the side of my house and got drunk. Really drunk. So drunk that I dont remember much of anything after one point. Even though we were drinking on the side of my house somehow I woke in his bed across town. I was in and out of consciousness all night. I remember him being on top of me and not knowing how I even got there. The next morning when I woke up reality hit that I had just spent the night with a man who I honestly didnt even know. I didnt know his last name or where I was, how I got there? He wasnt a boy, he was an adult. Then it hit me that my mother didnt even know where I was, I didnt remember telling her I was even leaving the yard.
I couldnt even look this guy in the eyes, as I was so ashamed and embarrassed. What had I done? I felt like a total whore. I didnt remember anything. My mom was going to kill me and I was a total whore.
He kept asking me what was wrong on the ride home. I was quiet, terrified, embarrassed. I wasnt sure if this was normal for adults to black out and wake up in a strangers bed. I kept my head down and couldnt get out of the car fast enough.
What I didnt know then is this is date rape. Not only that but because of the age difference it was statutory date rape. I was so mortified with what I had done I accepted his request to be his girlfriend. I thought if I was his girlfriend it would be less disgusting that I had just blacked out and spent the night with him. I dated him from my freshman-senior year of high school.
That was the beginning to a very abusive relationship and it all started with a few beers.
So my point is, what seems like a harmless night of experimenting with alcohol can lead to a chain reaction of very bad choices.
If that does not sink in, you should also know that I was a year older than you when my best friend was killed drunk driving. She never made it to adulthood. Please trust me when I say there is plenty of time in life to drink. Please wait. Not for me, for you.
If you ever have any questions and concerns about these things I will always be here. Learn from my mistakes and experiences. I would hate for you to learn these things first hand. Enjoy high school. Its so short and is over before you know it. It will be some of the best times of your life!
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