The Namesake

People who know me personally know there is a man in my life now. He's warm, sincere, affectionate, supportive and he loves me even though at times I'm a mess. We've been living together for about a year now. He is a godsend and he loves my kids like he made them himself. He loves them the way my dad loves me. Something I could only dream and pray for after their father passed. We are truly blessed.

Things have become pretty serious for us. We are a family now in every sense of the world. As a matter of fact, Sean just put an offer on a bigger house with a great yard across the street from a fantastic school. We've discussed spending the rest of our lives together. He feels like home to me and my little ones have taken to him as if he's always been there. Our home is a happy one. We are solid.

We've tossed around the idea of getting married someday. We've even discussed the possibility of him adopting the kids legally. I know he'd do anything for them. His eyes light up the minute he walks in from work and they run to hug him. He truly loves a d adores them.

There is only one issue with the idea of adoption and it may be my own silly hang up. Mason is the family namesake on his dad's side. His grandpa had two boys, his dad and uncle Jimmy. Uncle Jimmy has a little girl. NO other boys in his generation. If his name changes to Smiley his father's last name will die too.

The irony is that after Mike died his family cut me off, accused me of being responsible  for his death and have only seen the kids once in a year a day a half. They aren't involved in their lives. I send photos, letters, phone calls and I get no reply. I'm not sure why I would even care but for whatever reason it is something I think about. They will surely take issue with it  but I think Mike would want Sean to be the constant in his life, to be the one who teaches him to become a man. I know in my heart that Mike led us together. Not just for me but for my babies too.

The beauty about Sean's love for us is that it's not a selfish love. He has told us from day one he doesn't want to replace Mike...he knew and loved him too. He just wants to be part of our life. He honors their father. He tells them stories of him. Never gets jealous or hurt when the kids talk about him and is patient and supportive with them on days they struggle with his loss. He shares the bond instead of letting it cause some sort of point of contention as so many others might.

I'm honored that he wants to be their "daddy-person". He knows the challenges he is up against and still wants to take them on with open arms. He knows they will at times reject him when they feel they are betraying their daddy by loving him. It makes him love them even more. He's a strong man. Not a lot of men would be brave enough to attempt to enter such dynamics. How could I NOT want that for my kids?

How could anyone fault me for wanting the absolute best for my children? He is the best. If God forbid I should die tomorrow he would not waiver. In our eyes they are ours now. Not just mine. Ours. He made an unspoken promise to be there for them everyday for the rest of his days. Unconditionally. Not because he has to, but because he wants to. He picked them. That's everything I could hope for and more.

So, if family should speak poorly of my decision then they don't have my children's best interest in mind. A name won't teach him to be a man. A DAD will. He's got two. The one in heaven watching over him and the one holding his hand when he's sick or scared. They should be happy someone is there for him. Period. If what's best for him matters, they will celebrate the occasion and the opportunity given to their grandson. That's what real love is... Wanting the best for someone even if it's not what YOU want.

I certainly didn't want to lose Mike but he sent Sean to us. I'm sure of it. He makes my heart happy everyday. He hugs the kids often and tells them how much he loves them. rejoice in knowing they have a chance in life. I do. I'm grateful. Truly.