Literary Translations #2

I like to pick on French writers. They are easy targets. Today its

Jean-Jacques Rousseau.


Congratulations sir. You win nothing.

Said:

“I may not be better than other people, but at least I'm different.”

Meant:

Im socially awkward.

Said:
“Insults are the arguments employed by those who are in the wrong

Meant:
Sticks and stones may break my bones...

Said:
To live is not merely to breathe; it is to act; it is to make use of our organs, senses, faculties - of all those parts of ourselves which give us the feeling of existence

Meant:

You aren't really living until you've made use of my organ. Wink wink

Said:

“Watch a cat when it enters a room for the first time. It searches and smells about, it is not quiet for a moment, it trusts nothing until it has examined and made acquaintance with everything.”

Meant:

I live alone with many cats.

Said:
Happiness: a good bank account, a good cook, and a good digestion.

Meant:
I have lots of money and poop regularly. Did I mention I live with cats?

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