Yes, this is my life

Anyone who knows me well also knows that I am a huge fan of vintage pinup and cheesecake portraiture. I love it for several reasons, one is that it highlights the the art of the tease. Its what separates today's pinup. Its suggestive, not pornographic. It forces the viewer to use their imagination. It captivates them. Its femininity at its finest. For that reason I think it is better than today's full on gratuitous photos. Nothing is left to the imagination. We know fantasy is ALWAYS better than reality. Of course, either way you are objectifying women. This is a constant struggle in my head. Sometimes I feel like the biggest hypocrite. Working with many girls in photo styling I learned so much about the art of being a woman. We all want the same thing. We all have hang ups. Unfortunately a great deal of us put our self worth in our outward appearance. I have seen pinup help and hurt these girls equally. I have learned that we are our own worst enemies. We are under constant ...

I have been getting updates about the kid I mentioned in an earlier blog. Hes now claiming not to be just a prophet but God. The GOD. Even telling people to take Him into their hearts. I stand by my suspicion that he is schizophrenic. Before I go any further in my thoughts I want to make it clear that I am a spiritual person. I have a personal relationship with God. I am not an atheist. I do believe that faith (NOT religion) is a deeply personal thing and I respect others in their beliefs. I have to draw the line at people, groups and organizations that encourage others to harm themselves or others in the name of their God. Thats a hate group not a religion. But I digress... When I was little we lived briefly with my grandparents. My grandpa came home every evening from work handed me his lunchbox. (He always saved a ho-ho for me!) He then went to his recliner, flipped on the table lamp and began to read his bible. Every night. I always wondered just how many times he read it fro...

I did this app on Facebook today and it listed all of my status updates for the entire year. There were 150 pages. I thought more people need to know my brilliance. You all need a peek into my head. No...I dont want you all to be my Facebook friends...but yes, I want you to enjoy. I only hope I can be as entertained next year! Fingers crossed!

Brian's Profile · Brian's Wall Brian Schmitt IF ANY MAN CAST ONE STONE THEN HE MUST BE WITHOUT SIN 2 hours ago · Like Unlike · Comment Jill Longanecker likes this. Brian Schmitt WELL, IF YOU FOLLOW WHAT STUFF I SAID IN MY EMAIL YOU'LL FIND OUT. I WILL SEE IF SHE CAN HANDLE THAT HERSELF FIRST, (NO SHE'S NOT MARY MAGDALENE BUT, YOU CALLED HER A WHORE. AND ODD THING EVERY FUCKING ONE OF YOU MEN WERE THE BIGGEST PROBLE ... M THAT THIS WORLD BEEN STUCK CURSED WITH ALL ALONG! YOU WANT TO SAY IT'S A JOKE? BURN THE WITCH! WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU DONE TO WOMEN? SHE IS A CURSE! REALLY? SHE? SHE IS THE CURSE OF THIS WORLD? THE TIMES WHEN SHE IS HERE AND YOU SAY SHE WAS THE CURSE? ACTUALLY YOUR FAILURE TO EVER LISTEN TO WHEN SHE WAS HERE WAS THE CURSE. IF YOU EVEN LISTENED ONE TIME TO HER YOU WOULD HAVE NOTICED SHE WAS THE OTHER! YOU DID ONLY I THINK, HUH; MAYBE A HAND FULL OF TIMES LISTENED TO HER, AND EVEN THEM TIMES; YOU ONLY WOULD LISTEN TO HER IN ONE EAR. YOU'...

Last night we gave Mas his birthday gift. A NEW BIKE. He was more than surprised. He was squealing like a baby pig. He was so excited. His old bike was tiny, the seat was busted and it was stolen twice and vandalized so it wobbled quite a bit. He checked out every inch of the bike. Of course he got a new helmet too and it has skulls on it like the bike so he was just in heaven. Fast forward to this AM. We planned on walking him to school so he could ride his new bike. There was a slight problem to that. Kira woke this AM to a fever and it was misty raining. I couldn't walk him as planned. Boo. TJ offered to walk him and I reluctantly let him because I just know how much he was looking forward to it. Its two streets away. I told Mas that TJ could walk him or i could drive him because Kira was so sick. He said it was cool to go with Teej. I gave them the normal rules, stay together, go straight to school blah blah blah. Well about 20 minutes later Mason walks in in tears. I asked in...

I like to pick on French writers. They are easy targets. Today its Jean-Jacques Rousseau. Congratulations sir. You win nothing. Said: “I may not be better than other people, but at least I'm different.” Meant: Im socially awkward. Said: “Insults are the arguments employed by those who are in the wrong Meant: Sticks and stones may break my bones... Said: To live is not merely to breathe; it is to act; it is to make use of our organs, senses, faculties - of all those parts of ourselves which give us the feeling of existence Meant: You aren't really living until you've made use of my organ. Wink wink Said: “Watch a cat when it enters a room for the first time. It searches and smells about, it is not quiet for a moment, it trusts nothing until it has examined and made acquaintance with everything.” Meant: I live alone with many cats. Said: Happiness: a good bank account, a good cook, and a good digestion. Meant: I have lots of money and poop regularly. Did I mention I live ...

I like to play a little game called 'What they said and what they really meant.' I like to read quotes from really old dead poets, philosophers and you know...wise people and make them relevant to current life. If you have ever read the work of these jackwagons you know that they are wordy bitches. Maybe to sound more profound or perhaps they had a minimum word and syllable deadline. Who knows. So here we go.... Today I randomly picked Marcel Proust. He was a French Novelist. And I am pretty sure he was gay. Or just hated women. I never met him but you'll see what I mean when you hear his quotes. What he said... " The bonds that unite another person to our self exist only in our mind. " What he meant... " I have S&M fantasies. So far no luck on getting anyone to tie me up and spank me" Said... " People wish to learn to swim and at the same time to keep one foot on the ground. " Meant: My banana hammock makes me look fat. Sa...

Today my husband and I finished our daughter's doll crib. We are both very proud. I know shes going to really love this thing. I hope its one of her fondest childhood gifts. She saw us finishing it up today. I lied and said it was an order for another kid. She was so bummed. She asked if daddy could maybe someday make her one. I wanted to cry but know on Christmas morning she will love it. It really got me thinking. I remember quite clearly my favorite Christmas gift ever. It was 1985. I got a Hasbro Sleeping Real Baby. It came with birth announcements to send to friends and you named them yourself. I sat at my grandmas kitchen table and she helped me fill out the official birth certificate. I adored this baby doll. Her name was Michelle. ( My daughters middle name now!) She was really heavy like a real baby. Not plastic or hollow. Squishy even. I cant remember anything else I got that year or any year before that but I will always remember that doll. Here is a throwback commercial...

I guess I should start at the beginning. My pregnancy with Teej was a nightmare. It was the worst of the worst. Every worst case scenario possible. I went into preterm labor with him at 28 weeks. I was just 20 years old.I had no idea. My mom forced me to go to the local hospital to be checked out. I went in and it was all a blur after I walked in the door. I was rushed to a room and immediately hooked up to an IV. The drugs they pumped into me made me vomit repeatedly. I was burning hot. Before I could even stop puking I was put into an ambulance an rushed to St. Mary's Hospital 40 miles away. I was put into a ward with moms experiencing the same problems. All of us were in perterm labor. I was still so drugged I don't remember much to this day. I do recall waking up the next morning to a rose from the staff. It was Mother's Day. I had contractions they said. I felt them but not what I imagined. I was very swollen. They said I had pre - eclampsia and gestational diabetes...