I finally went to see him

...and I haven't stopped crying since. After nearly five months I got the courage up.

As I was getting out of the car one of thre gentlemen working asked if I needed any help. I replied " no thank you. I am just here to visit my husband." Are you fucking kidding me? That came out of my mouth. This is my reality. How surreal.

I cried so hard. I sat right there on the grass up against his headstone sobbing uncontrollable. He's gone forever. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Service Member Suicide

It was recently announced that we have lost more service members this year to suicide than in combat. The statement is shocking, considering we are occupying Afghanistan and other war torn areas of the world and everyday another name is added to the list. People don't want to talk about the suicides. Its as if its a shameful secret swept under the rug. According to the Army soldier suicide is up 80%. EIGHTY PERCENT. We are doing something wrong. It seems that those who truly need help are afraid to talk and those who don't want to quickly blame PTSD for any shortcoming they have in life after war. On the news, if someone robs a bank the first thing they report is he was a combat veteran in one of the branches of the US Military. They skirt around PTSD as a motive. PTSD is real and its not an excuse to toss around lightly. I know why our service members don't reach out. I have been personally effected by it and now since my husband is weeks from retirement and 20 years of...
Read more

False Domestic Violence Allegations and Personality Disorders

Domestic violence is a major issue in our society today, laws have been made to protect those suffering from abuse in the home. It took many years for such laws to be enacted. At one time it was perfectly acceptable for a man to hit, berate and sexually assault his wife. It was considered a valid exercise of authority from husband to wife. We have come a long way. The authorities now recognize this as what it is, abuse.  Because new laws exist women can live freely without fear of violence. Many women are alive today because the court's protection. With that being said, it is also now being used as a tool by women to exercise power over men in their lives. It's a sad and disgusting result of the very laws to protect us. False allegations of domestic violence are at the very least an insult to women who are abused. It makes efforts to secure protection even harder for women who actually need it.  If you are going through a divorce or custody issue and file false charges to gain...
Read more

For The VA

Image
We are struggling with the VA to reclassify his death as service related suicide. As of now it's just a 'self inflicted gunshot to head".  In order for this to happen I must collect letters from people who knew him and witnessed his behavior change. I found out this week that I must also write a letter. So, as hard as this will be to write out I am doing it today. This may be incredibly raw and extremely hard to read. I will warn you in advance. But remember; as hard as it is to read it was even harder to live through.  My name is Misty Blum. My husband was SSgt Michael John Blum. He served 20 years in the Marines. He retired May 01, 2013. 136 days later he walked into my garage and shot himself in the head. He died instantly September 15, 2013. The pain he'd been in for the past 8 years finally got the best of him. He could no longer live with it. At the time of his death we had been married for 11 years. But I knew him since childhood. We grew up in the same small to...
Read more