I finally went to see him

...and I haven't stopped crying since. After nearly five months I got the courage up.

As I was getting out of the car one of thre gentlemen working asked if I needed any help. I replied " no thank you. I am just here to visit my husband." Are you fucking kidding me? That came out of my mouth. This is my reality. How surreal.

I cried so hard. I sat right there on the grass up against his headstone sobbing uncontrollable. He's gone forever.